No one puts mommy in a corner.
It’s actually an old douchebag tradition to tear off the tuxedo sleeves, lets the guns breathe.
8 Euphemisms for Things I’m Actually Embarrassed By [Click for more]
Euphemisms help us talk about embarrassing sexual and bathroom-related habits in polite society, but what about everything else that embarrasses us on a daily basis?
Walked around all day with a piece of spinach in between his teeth.
Walked into a street sign while rocking out to his iPod.
Brought a guy home this weekend and forgot she was wearing underwear that she’d had since sixth grade with holes in them.
Forgot the attachment.
Finally said hi to her office crush but they didn’t hear her because she said it too quietly and then they looked up and saw her staring at them expectantly and were totally weirded out.
Tried to make a joke about racism but just came off sounding racist.
Thought Edward Snowden was a character on Game of Thrones.
Farted super loudly in a public bathroom and then realized someone else was in there.
8 Animals That Can’t Believe They Just Did That [Click for more]
"As we go on, we remember, all the times you, embarrassed yourself in front of friends and family and also strangers" - Vitamin C. We hope you all make it through the ceremony without scarring your dignity forever like these people did.
And now, a moment of silence for their kids being with them in public.
Comedy = Tragedy + Time
Walk it off.
The Official Matrix of Fun - What you want to do isn’t always what you want to admit you’ve done.
Did we miss anything?
1. Write an email. Let someone know that you’re sorry without having to make eye contact, or an attempt at pretending to actually be sorry.
2. Make a phone call. After experiencing the living hell that is answering a ringing phone, whatever you did last night won’t seem nearly as bad.
3. Replace whatever you destroyed. If you barfed on someone’s cocktail dress, get them a new one. If you ruined someone’s relationship, buy them two.
4. Buy a gift. If it’s a good enough present, it should get someone to forget about your festive failings, and not stand as a memorial to it.
5. Disappear for a while. You’ll get to avoid whoever it is that you want to avoid, and they’ll get the gift of not having to see your face. [Keep Reading]