“The first day of my C++ programming class, my professor stood up and said “I don’t care what you guys do in this class. If you want to eat, drink, smoke…. go ahead.””
“People who say soup is filling were already full of shit to begin with.”
Duck eats pizza [Click to animate]
You’ll like it almost as much as pizza itself.
Of course he’s sad. His dad says it’s time to leave.
“I work at a Chuck E Cheese. I watched a little girl steal about 50 tokens out of a box we keep (not very well) hidden. Then she told me that a machine ate 7 tokens. I told her to stop putting tokens into a machine if 1 doesn’t make it work. Then she started crying?”
It’s a heart attack in a bird in a bird in a bird in a bird in a bird in a pig.
Holy mackerel, indeed. Okay, fine, bite-marked mackerel.
The block of cheese is just an appetizer for the entire box of Cheez-Its.
Brought to you by the letters AAAAAAAAAAH.
"Ah, kibble. This will pair nicely with the vintage of toilet water I’ve chilled for afterwards."