“I went to visit a friend in Key West and ended up getting so drunk I ran off and ended up passing out in the bushes of a Burger King drive-thu. I was awoken by 6 cops that didn’t seem too happy. One of the cops asked if I had taken any drugs or alcohol that evening. My response was “Sir, I won’t lie I haven’t taken any drugs but I’m fucking wasted.” All of the cops started laughing and eventually drove me back to my friend’s apartment. I found out later they took photos of me while I was passed out and managed to send them to my friend.”

“I work at a drive-thru starbucks, and yesterday, when there was no one in the store, a lady came in and asked where the drive-thru was. We pointed, and she promptly left the store, got in her car and came around the drive-thru.”