To research this video, we interviewed a grimy loofah.
Everyone enjoys the freedom of naked one on one time, but there’s a serious risk of getting caught. Watch our hero’s internal debate between an “in the pants tug” and doing it in the buff.
Timeless Fables for Every College Student [Click for 4 more]
Even though these things appear on the college packing lists your mother keeps emailing, you don’t need them.
The 7 Things You Really Don’t Need to Bring to College [Click to finish]
He’s a real human being, and a real hero.
Roommate Confessions: Superglued Her Door Shut [Click for all]
Welcome to Roommate Confessions, the column where we share the worst stuff you’ve done to your roommate.
Your bed has gone through a lot while you were gone. I puked on it, farted on it, and dried my dishes on it. Is that not ok?
i hated my old housemates, they hated me. I had to move out so they wouldnt beat me up and i was homeless. I pissed on everybody tooth brush EVERY day and replaced facewash with piss. Sucked in dickheads!
My roommate had a really nice razor that she used for her upper lip. When she pissed me off I used to use it to shave my pubes.
You can submit your own “Roommate Confessions” like these lovely people did straight to our Tumblr.
My roommate is so messy it’s disgusting. Weird smells come out of her room…I can’t even describe it, its like BO and sweaty gym socks and god only knows. There are crumbs all over our kitchen constantly no matter how much I clean it. I had to put out ant traps cuz I’m sure we will get ants sooner or later. She is always dropping things into the little metal things under the coils of the stove and never cleans it out after! Hello?? That stuff is gonna just burn later….when I’m cooking…. She has never once cleaned a thing in our apartment…ever. But I repay her for that because after I clean the bathroom I dry off all the surfaces with her face towel and then hang it back on the hook so she will use it to dry her face the next morning. I also put a few drops of pickle juice in her half gone gallon of milk so she thought it spoiled and threw it out….and I’ve done this a few times…love seeing her waste money. On an unrelated note….she contributed next to nothing to our apartment. Well that’s gonna bite her in the ass when I tell her I’m not renewing our lease and then she will be stuck with an apartment with nothing in it except her bed, a couch, and a frying pan. Whoops, guess she just won’t have a roommate but will be stuck here for her job ….or she can go back home and live with her parents. HA! Oh yea, and bitch has GOT to learn to chew with her mouth closed. No one wants to see half-eaten food rolling around in your mouth. DISGUSTING! Not to mention this girl is perpetually single. She has a gross face with no chin (how weird is that?). Not sure if she has ever dated anyone but she is so socially awkward I wouldn’t be surprised if she is 24 and still a virgin. I wish I could say all this to her face, or just be a complete bitch to her…but we work together…so I am forced to be courteous and nice. Lesson learned here: don’t ever live with someone you only know from work…chances are they are going to be a horrible roommate. Worst. Decision. Ever. - Corie
If you have a story like Corie (that rhymes) then submit yours straight to our Tumblr (that doesn’t)
Roommate Confessions: Special Cookies and the Taco Massacre [Click for more]
Remember the time I drove you and your stupid friends to White Castle because you were all drunk and complaining? Then remember how you didnt give me any of the 30 burgers that I bought, because you forgot your money? Well I slept with your girlfriend and she’s pregnant. -Anonymous
You would always wear shoes with no socks and only took a shower once a week. You always ate my food. Anytime you ate something you would leave the plate out to see what would grow on it. Remember that time you got sick from eating MY cereal? Well I saved a gallon of 3 week old milk and transfered it to a new container that said it hadn’t expired yet. Oh, and also had some guy friends jizz into it. Guess you put it on my cereal you ate… - Anonymous
Remember you can submit your own stories to us RIGHT IN TUMBLR!
Roommate Confessions: String Cheese and Hamburger Buns [Click for more]
Welcome back to Roommate Confessions, the column where we share the worst stuff you’ve done to your roommate.
You fed me moldy hamburger buns. I fed you my pubes. -Anonymous
Hey Alan, you know how I gave you discounted rent for the month you crashed at my place, because we were sort of friends last year? And you know how I didn’t even mind when you consumed my food and beer without contributing anything to the household? And do you remember that time I asked for a ride down the street and you tried to charge me ten dollars for “gas money?” Oh and do you recall that time I fucked one of your friends on your futon and then came, on your futon? Well I did. - Anonymous
I ate the last string cheese. Sorry man. - Anonymous
If you think you can top these stories, confess your sins here.
8 Scientific Principles of Your Dorm [Click for more]
Are we on the same wavelength?
Have some respect, some of us are trying to study so hard we forget we don’t have girlfriends here.
The 11 Best Inexplicable Autumn Pictures [Click to view full gallery]
Oh, I thought you said “leaf me alone.” My mistake.
Orientation Week Dos and Don’ts [Click to continue reading]