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You Won’t BELIEVE Which State Has The Highest STD Rate!!! 

You Won’t BELIEVE Which State Has The Highest STD Rate!!! 

If Campus Tour Guides Were Honest

If Campus Tour Guides Were Honest

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don’t fart in class and have that be my nickname forever…

Finish reading —> Your Greatest Fear At Every Stage Of Your Life

Finish reading —> 5 Self-Help Pamphlets For Your Super Easy Life

Finish reading —> 5 Incredibly Simple S&M Sex Moves for Beginners

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I will friggin’ DIE before I admit that TWO cities might have good tacos! 
Read —> 10 Things People Have WAY Too Many Opinions About

I will friggin’ DIE before I admit that TWO cities might have good tacos! 

Read —> 10 Things People Have WAY Too Many Opinions About

Seriously though, Lion King 17 really ties up some loose ends.

Finish reading —> 5 Incredible Disney DVD Sequels You Didn’t Know Existed

Internet Sanity Reminder: You’re under no obligation to search for / read / respond to Ray Rice defenders

1. Take a semi-normal-sounding job.
2. Now perform that job in the DESERT, the ARCTIC, the MOUNTAINS, or an ABANDONED WAREHOUSE HAUNTED BY THE GHOSTS OF PAWN SHOP EMPLOYEES.
3. Add 30+ family members with insane beards who are constantly fighting and subtitled.
4. Throw in a scripted B-Plot where you’re skydiving or learning yoga.
5. ROLL CREDITS AND START THE NEXT EP.
Next up —> How To Get On HGTV <— Click to find out

1. Take a semi-normal-sounding job.

2. Now perform that job in the DESERT, the ARCTIC, the MOUNTAINS, or an ABANDONED WAREHOUSE HAUNTED BY THE GHOSTS OF PAWN SHOP EMPLOYEES.

3. Add 30+ family members with insane beards who are constantly fighting and subtitled.

4. Throw in a scripted B-Plot where you’re skydiving or learning yoga.

5. ROLL CREDITS AND START THE NEXT EP.

Next up —> How To Get On HGTV <— Click to find out

The Shining is a gripping, unique horror film that holds up extremely well and still looks incredible, but watching it now, one can’t help but notice that the famous climactic “Here’s Johnny!” line — which is also the DVD cover — ends up being a really minor part of the film’s explosive final sequence. The Jack character painstakingly axes his way through the bathroom door while his wife screams, then he sticks his face through the door, delivers the line, and instantly gets stabbed in the hand then hears someone at the front door and leaves.

It’s still a super-awesome and terrifying scene, it’s just slightly amusing how instantly-defeated he gets. Then he gets outsmarted by his son and freezes to death. It’s a pretty rough twenty minutes for that dude.

Finish reading 10 Famous Movie Moments That Were Actually Really Anticlimactic

Man, I miss constantly sleeping with models and not being lonely WHATSOEVER

Finish reading —> What You Think Being Single Is Like When You’re In A Relationship

15 Internet Stories We Need To Stop Sharing IMMEDIATELY

15 Internet Stories We Need To Stop Sharing IMMEDIATELY

Be a good security guard & check the rest of it out

Interior: Giant Shower With Unfrosted Glass On All Four Sides Somehow.ANASTASIA STEELE, a busty half-Asian Student / Journalist / Cop-Scientist is showering for five and a half minutes while the Opening Credits Roll. Royalty-free cool-Jazz background music is playing, indicating that something SEXY is happening in 1997 or you&#8217;re in the bathroom at a W Hotel.
ANASTASIA towels herself off and exits the bathroom. Her roommate KATE, a petite but busty blond 36-year-old college student is laying on her bed in a tight yellow cocktail dress, masturbating. KATE is startled.
 ANASTASIA

Hey there Kate. I see you&#8217;re having fun.

 KATE

What can I say, Ana, ever since I started dating Mike, I&#8217;m just too hot and bothered all the time, I just want everyone. And I mean&#8230; everyone.

KATE lovingly caresses ANA&#8217;s towel.
 ANASTASIA (Lovingly)

Lucky you. Ever since Dave and I broke up, I&#8217;m starting to wonder if I&#8217;ll ever get touched again. Except by you, haha.

KATE

Fuck Dave. He was a shit.

ANA playfully pushes KATE&#8217;S hand away and they both laugh, then lock eyes. They caress their faces together. The mood turns erotic.
ANASTASIA

Before we do this, I have to tell you &#8212; I&#8217;ve only been with another woman one other time today.

 Finish reading If &#8220;50 Shades Of Grey&#8221; Were A Cinemax Movie

Interior: Giant Shower With Unfrosted Glass On All Four Sides Somehow.ANASTASIA STEELE, a busty half-Asian Student / Journalist / Cop-Scientist is showering for five and a half minutes while the Opening Credits Roll. Royalty-free cool-Jazz background music is playing, indicating that something SEXY is happening in 1997 or you’re in the bathroom at a W Hotel.

ANASTASIA towels herself off and exits the bathroom. Her roommate KATE, a petite but busty blond 36-year-old college student is laying on her bed in a tight yellow cocktail dress, masturbating. KATE is startled.

 ANASTASIA

Hey there Kate. I see you’re having fun.

 KATE

What can I say, Ana, ever since I started dating Mike, I’m just too hot and bothered all the time, I just want everyone. And I mean… everyone.

KATE lovingly caresses ANA’s towel.

 ANASTASIA (Lovingly)

Lucky you. Ever since Dave and I broke up, I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever get touched again. Except by you, haha.

KATE

Fuck Dave. He was a shit.

ANA playfully pushes KATE’S hand away and they both laugh, then lock eyes. They caress their faces together. The mood turns erotic.

ANASTASIA

Before we do this, I have to tell you — I’ve only been with another woman one other time today.

 Finish reading If “50 Shades Of Grey” Were A Cinemax Movie

What was going ON in that decade? Wouldn’t it be awesome if literally any of us could go back to 1982 and just instantly be more attractive than everyone and become revered movie stars / models / successful post-punk new-wave bands? And we’d get to rub elbows / have sex with the other most attractive people in the decade, namely Prince, Kelly LeBrock in the movie Weird Science, and that’s it! Just those two.

Finish reading 10 Dumb Things I’d Actually Use Time Travel For