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Stupid Teenagers Take Selfie, Commit Crime
Selfies are the new mugshot

Stupid Teenagers Take Selfie, Commit Crime

Selfies are the new mugshot

(Source: reddit.com)

10 Alternatives to Murder for Professional Athletes
Okay, so someone is doing something that angers you. Us “normals,” may have no choice but to kill them, but if you’re a person that gets paid millions to participate in an activity many of us love to watch, you have a few more options.
1. Play the sport you get paid to play.
Practice makes perfect and you not shoot someone. 
2. Have sex with beautiful people.
You know who attractive men and women don’t want to sleep with? Murderers. Fine, bad example, but you don’t have to kill someone to get their attention. You’re already the boneworthy combination of visible and wanted to be seen. 
3. Buy a new car.
Driving is dangerous, but not pointing a gun at someone dangerous. 
4. Buy an old car.
It’s the closest you can get to driving in the past, because you can never go back to the past—even if you commit homicide. 
5. Buy another new car.
Although the basis of a hollow existence, it’s still better to keep up with the Joneses than kill them. 
6. Endorse something to pay for those cars.
Nothing’s free. Except for court-appointed defenders, and that’s not always the case. 
7. Have sex with more beautiful people.
It’s not like you don’t have the stamina. 
8. Take on a side project.
No, we won’t listen to your rap album or wear items from your $100 line of luxury tank tops and cargo shorts, but that still beats figuring out how to brew your own blend of toilet sangria. 
9. Make someone in your entourage do it.
Shhh! 
10. Find God and shove it in everyone’s face.
Actually… 

10 Alternatives to Murder for Professional Athletes

Okay, so someone is doing something that angers you. Us “normals,” may have no choice but to kill them, but if you’re a person that gets paid millions to participate in an activity many of us love to watch, you have a few more options.

1. Play the sport you get paid to play.

Practice makes perfect and you not shoot someone. 

2. Have sex with beautiful people.

You know who attractive men and women don’t want to sleep with? Murderers. Fine, bad example, but you don’t have to kill someone to get their attention. You’re already the boneworthy combination of visible and wanted to be seen. 

3. Buy a new car.

Driving is dangerous, but not pointing a gun at someone dangerous. 

4. Buy an old car.

It’s the closest you can get to driving in the past, because you can never go back to the past—even if you commit homicide. 

5. Buy another new car.

Although the basis of a hollow existence, it’s still better to keep up with the Joneses than kill them. 

6. Endorse something to pay for those cars.

Nothing’s free. Except for court-appointed defenders, and that’s not always the case. 

7. Have sex with more beautiful people.

It’s not like you don’t have the stamina. 

8. Take on a side project.

No, we won’t listen to your rap album or wear items from your $100 line of luxury tank tops and cargo shorts, but that still beats figuring out how to brew your own blend of toilet sangria. 

9. Make someone in your entourage do it.

Shhh! 

10. Find God and shove it in everyone’s face.

Actually… 

(Source: College Humor)

The Most Accurate Police Sketch to Date
The man’s crime? Wearing a f***ing bucket hat.

The Most Accurate Police Sketch to Date

The man’s crime? Wearing a f***ing bucket hat.

(Source: reddit.com)

Jake and Amir: iPhone Case

Amir finally stars in a video that will certainly go viral.

Don’t Leave Your Stuff at the Coffee Shop with This Guy
"Dude sitting next to me just bounced to the restroom and left his whole Apple suite straight splayed out on this reclaimed. Noice."
Guess the lesson here is to never trust strangers.
Craigslist

Don’t Leave Your Stuff at the Coffee Shop with This Guy

"Dude sitting next to me just bounced to the restroom and left his whole Apple suite straight splayed out on this reclaimed. Noice."

Guess the lesson here is to never trust strangers.

Craigslist

When I was younger, my dad didn’t want me playing Zelda games because breaking ancient pots for rupees was an “anthropological crime”.

Shhhh, Guilty
Don’t advertise it on your car if you’re trying to hush people up

Shhhh, Guilty

Don’t advertise it on your car if you’re trying to hush people up

(Source: reddit.com)

The Six SuperVillains of Nerd Culture [Click to continue reading]
Keep an eye out for these at Comicon!

The Six SuperVillains of Nerd Culture [Click to continue reading]

Keep an eye out for these at Comicon!

(Source: College Humor)

The Six SuperVillains of Nerd Culture [Click to continue reading]

The Six SuperVillains of Nerd Culture [Click to continue reading]

(Source: College Humor)

Incognito - The Open House

This is great and all, but I still don’t know what “escrow” means.

Episode 1: The Parents and Episode 2: The Geisha

Just in case you missed the first two episodes.

10 Ridiculous Crime Headlines 
This just in: idiocy.

10 Ridiculous Crime Headlines 

This just in: idiocy.

10 Ridiculous Crime Headlines 
This just in: idiocy.

10 Ridiculous Crime Headlines 

This just in: idiocy.

Jerry Sandusky’s Halftime Pep Talk to Himself 
Former Penn State assistant coach Jerry Sandusky’s trial for child sex abuse heard its closing arguments today. Earlier, we found this note crumpled up in the men’s bathroom at the courthouse.

Jerry Sandusky’s Halftime Pep Talk to Himself 

Former Penn State assistant coach Jerry Sandusky’s trial for child sex abuse heard its closing arguments today. Earlier, we found this note crumpled up in the men’s bathroom at the courthouse.

(Source: College Humor)

Jerry Sandusky’s Halftime Pep Talk to Himself [Click to continue reading]
Former Penn State assistant coach Jerry Sandusky’s trial for child sex abuse will hear its closing arguments today. Early this morning, we found this note crumpled up in the men’s bathroom at the courthouse:

Jerry Sandusky’s Halftime Pep Talk to Himself [Click to continue reading]

Former Penn State assistant coach Jerry Sandusky’s trial for child sex abuse will hear its closing arguments today. Early this morning, we found this note crumpled up in the men’s bathroom at the courthouse:

(Source: College Humor)

Click to vote this up or down on uPick!

Click to vote this up or down on uPick!

(Source: College Humor)