You chose the wrong bull to tango with compende!
All of These People Are Having a Much Worse Day Than You Are [Click for more]
Unless you’re in one of these pictures. Then MOST of these people are having a much worse day than you.
UC Santa Cruz didn’t have a 4/20. They had an 8/40.
There ain’t room in this town for the two sets of pants that horse would need.
He was Bjorn in the USA.
Man, I told you already, it’s just Capri Sun, for real.
8 People Movies Made You Think You’d Meet [Click for full article]
Be it with a traffic cop, a steely judge, or your so-far humorless boss, you’re going to get into some serious trouble with someone in uniform at some point. They’ll come down hard, staring down at your crushed, pathetic face as they drive the final nail into the coffin that is your bearable life as you know it. Then you’ll say something to remind them of their childhood or dead wife or something, and everything will be fine.
Why they don’t exist: Hahahaha yeah right. I can imagine few things that are more fun than really messing someone’s existence up and getting paid for it. That’s like the best bit. You think they’re going to deny themselves that because you hopped that turnstile and resisted arrest, like, three times for LOVE? Enjoy jail. [Keep Reading]
Nothing more impressive than nonviolent resistance…unless it’s this douchey.
We will go to whatever measure necessary to be a total dick and ruin your day.
Bad droids, bad droids, whatcha gonna do?
“My best friend and I had the idea of getting super baked one day, which wasn’t that different from normal. So while she was biking to my house, I picked up about 5 gs of bud. On the way to me, some guy drove by and hit her and left. Her bike was trashed and she was hurt, but okay. I had to call her parents to let them know, and they insisted that we all go down to the police station to report what had happened. We were sitting in an office with about seven police officers when an officer with a dog walks in to say something to another officer. My best friend and I just looked at each other and started laughing hysterically when we realized I had about 10 gs, my bowl, and a bottle of Xanax on me. Somehow after about an hour and a room that began to reek we made it out of there alive. We got home and toked up. Needless to say it was an interesting day.”
“I was about to leave for work one day when this new show that I was yet to see an episode of came on the TV. I ended up leaving half an hour later than usual because I had to watch it. The show was so good that it was worth the shit storm of trouble I was in when I finally showed up to work. It was The College Humor Show, and I am currently employed as a police officer in Australia.”