![Every First Conversation with a Gym Trainer [Click to continue reading]
PUSH IT! PUSSSSH IT!](http://24.media.tumblr.com/fe40ab19b0be046615e2cb920555b32b/tumblr_mmfq8kWeWl1qasthro1_r1_500.png)
If Real Life Were Like Comic Books
ME: Hey… listen, I’m really sorry I kept trying to hit on your friend last night when her boyfriend was out of the room. I was really drunk.
FRIEND: Oh, don’t worry about it. That never happened!
ME: Yeah, I wish…
FRIEND: No really, it never actually happened. That got retconned.
ME: What?
FRIEND: Oh yeah, that whole thing happened in a universe that doesn’t exist anymore. Retroactive continuity man. Retconning. You just got retconned.
![How I’ll Use the Technology of the Future [Click for full]
Me: Kyle, thanks for coming over. I’m having trouble with my ThoughtSphere and I know you young people really know how this stuff works.
Kyle: Yeah, sure, Grandpa.
Me: THANK YOU! I can’t figure out how to get into the Collective Hive Mind.
Kyle: Okay, go to your Living Room.
Me: We’re in the living room.
Kyle: No, your “Living Room.” That’s what you call the state of mental calm you need to be in to access all points on the ThoughtSphere and use your preferred BrainTap to access theCHM.
Me: This is hard.
Kyle: It’s right there, grandpa. It’s that base-line level of consciousness. You know, where you’re not quite sure whether you’re awake or asleep. Are you there?
Me: I think so.
Kyle: Ok, now what BrainTap do you use? AlphaSlug or Flerm?
Me: I don’t know. I think it’s that one that makes me remember the smell of old books.
Kyle: Ugh. Craniol? That’s a terrible BrainTap. I’ll ForceThink you a better one.
Me: NO! I’m used to this one!
Kyle: Alright, fine. Now just double-think Craniol.
Me: How do I do that?
Kyle: Just think about the smell of old books twice. Continue](http://25.media.tumblr.com/c70330842521d2a5b5478c63918f282b/tumblr_mhrggjQXsn1qasthro1_500.jpg)
How I’ll Use the Technology of the Future [Click for full]
Me: Kyle, thanks for coming over. I’m having trouble with my ThoughtSphere and I know you young people really know how this stuff works.
Kyle: Yeah, sure, Grandpa.
Me: THANK YOU! I can’t figure out how to get into the Collective Hive Mind.
Kyle: Okay, go to your Living Room.
Me: We’re in the living room.
Kyle: No, your “Living Room.” That’s what you call the state of mental calm you need to be in to access all points on the ThoughtSphere and use your preferred BrainTap to access theCHM.
Me: This is hard.
Kyle: It’s right there, grandpa. It’s that base-line level of consciousness. You know, where you’re not quite sure whether you’re awake or asleep. Are you there?
Me: I think so.
Kyle: Ok, now what BrainTap do you use? AlphaSlug or Flerm?
Me: I don’t know. I think it’s that one that makes me remember the smell of old books.
Kyle: Ugh. Craniol? That’s a terrible BrainTap. I’ll ForceThink you a better one.
Me: NO! I’m used to this one!
Kyle: Alright, fine. Now just double-think Craniol.
Me: How do I do that?
Kyle: Just think about the smell of old books twice. Continue
Conversations with a Twitter Feed: @KimKardashian
Sometimes it’s hard to believe that she got famous for being a good writer.
(Source: youtube.com)
Conversations with a Twitter Feed: @CarlySimonHQ
I bet she thinks this video’s about her.
(Source: youtube.com)
![Star Wars Status Updates [click for more]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3gflc8b9T1qasthro1_500.jpg)
![Star Wars Status Updates [click for more]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3gfj1lEdU1qasthro1_500.jpg)
![Paying for Items Online by Putting Credit Card in CD Slot
I gotta get me one of those round cards.
[Like following us on Tumblr? Join the party on Facebook!]](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m31wocd1Rj1qasthro1_500.jpg)
I gotta get me one of those round cards.
[Like following us on Tumblr? Join the party on Facebook!]
(Source: College Humor)
![The Last Act of Titanic’s Brave First Mate, Wensel Stevens [click to read]](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2mw46qVPa1qasthro1_500.jpg)
“ Jeff: Hey, guys. First off, thanks for showing up to the budget meeting on time. I know we all hate this stuff but it’s important that we figure out our finances. We are quarantined off from the rest of the world after all. Gang Member #1: Get on with it, Jeff. I’ve got a face tattoo appointment to make. Jeff: That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you guys about. I’ve been crunching the numbers and it seems like 99% of our resources go towards tattoos and makeup for the gang.
This will only add fuel to the fire of the Blackberry vs. Furby debate.
