We’re just simple folk who love fences and throwin’ wood in slo-mo!
Is this what Coachella is like?
The government is claiming 18% of your sanity.
The Russian president’s Olympics are the best laundered money can buy.
Every relationship ends with Kay.
With this year’s slate of Super Bowl ads to include a Full House Reunion, a Seinfeld Reunion, and Morpheus from The Matrix checkin’ out Kias (hot off the heels of last year’s Ferris Bueller ad), let’s take a look into the FUTURE of Super Bowl ads based on things we LOVE or KIND OF REMEMBER from the past, brought back and made better!!!!
Here are 20 ads currently in the works probably:
1. It’s OFFICE SPACE but Lumberg needs those BUD LIGHT reports
2. BOBA FETT falls into Sarlac Pit, turns to camera and is all like “I should’ve used GODADDY”
3. The cast of SAVED BY THE BELL at their reunion all eating POPCHIPS. Belding gets hit in balls w/ chips
4. CGI’d Patrick Swazye: “Nobody puts PISTACHIOS in a corner”
5. Lady from When Harry Met Sally (alive?) says “I’ll have what she’s having” and what she’s having is an AUDI
6. FRASIER singing “Tossed Salad and Scrambled BUDWEISER” (Note: If Frasier unavail, can replace w/ brother or dog)
7. Patrick Stewart as CAPTAIN PICARD says “Make it so.” Make what so? Camera spins around and it turns out he’s asking you to make NEW DORITOS FLAVOR so.
8. The cast of MEAN GIRLS just straight-up says that BUGLES are “fetch” and that’s it. Cool #hashtag is on the screen tho
9. CHRISTOPHER WALKEN asks for MORE COWBELL in his brand spankin new DRE BEATS (or Jay Mohr as Chris Walken? TBD)
10. MACAULAY CULKIN makes the HOME ALONE face over the great deals on PRICELINE and it goes VIRAL
11. Cast of 2 GUNS having 2 FUNS replacing their guns with 2 OIKOS YOGURTS (shaped like guns?)
12. PHOEBE CATES from FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH gets out of the pool, is just about to take her top off but then something funny happens TOYOTA.
13. DEMI MOORE and A PATRICK SWAYZE LOOKALIKE in the clay scene from GHOST but instead of clay they’re molding a SPECIAL K PROTEIN SHAKE. (last shot: Whoopi Goldberg looks on and winks?)
14. DOC BROWN just needs one more ingredient to get the time machine running to go BACK TO THE FUTURE. That ingredient? HOTELS DOT COM
15. DENZEL WASHINGTON from REMEMBER THE TITANS actually forgets the Titans because now he’s too busy remembering CARMAX
16. The cast of VERONICA’S CLOSET reunites and eats CHEERIOS at their office (pretty sure they were in an office right?)
17. VAN HELSING faces a test greater than any monster: The Taste of COKE ZERO
18. Hologram MARLON BRANDO says “Today, on the day of my daughter’s wedding…we’re having TOSTITOS SCOOPS!” ZOOM OUT to reveal cast of GODFATHER (all holograms) dipping scoops in TOSTITOS SALSA at wedding (Randy Jackson there too?)
19. Psy does the GANGNAM STYLE dance in a hay field with sexy tractors in background: it’s Oppa NATIONAL FARM WORKER’S ASSOCIATION Style! (5 minute ad)
20. Team from SAVING PRIVATE RYAN goes to save Private Ryan but walk right past him and instead save 15% OR MORE ON THEIR CAR INSURANCE, i.e., because that is better than Private Ryan. Last shot is Private Ryan shrugging at camera like “what are ya gonna do”
Now add yours!
So good it’ll go right through ya.
Shut up and take my money!
The altitude isn’t the only thing that’s high (i.e. the people are as well - high on marijuana).
Are the horses on the dating site too?
Just how we do in Amurrica. re: Jean Claude Van Damme’s Epic Split (not CGI)