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Committing crimes against your patience since the internet was born!

Finish reading The Internet’s Most Wanted

How A Guy’s Netflix Queue Can Be a Deal-Breaker

Yes, including the genre you’re thinking.

Finish reading If Porn Had a Director’s Commentary

How many of these challenges could you finish?

2 MORE Challenges - Finish reading Emotionally Strongest Man Competition

Cheat Codes for the Kim Kardashian iPhone Game
- At the load screen, tap the K Star six times in a row to skip right to being spotted by a Big Hollywood Agent who wants to make you a Big Hollywood Super Star.

- At the character select screen, swipe down, then left, then left again to gain 5000 Social Media points and a write-up on a some blog calling you an “Instagram Celeb.”

-  Tap the Hollywood sign twelve times to up your Star Rating by fucking a photographer at the Torque premiere.

- When talking to the VALET PARKING GUY outside Kim’s perfume launch party, TIP TRIPLE to get four free Speedballs and an exclusive invite to McG’s forty-fifth at his Venice fuckpad.

- When Jake (the Journalist) asks you out, instead of tapping “Sure!” or “Let’s just be friends”, scroll left, then right, then left, then right, then up, then down to gain 100 Love Points and instead get martinis with Chez, a guy who “did some consulting on SAW VI” and “can definitely get you your own reality show, hundo percent.”
          BONUS: To up your Star Rating, sign whatever he hands you. That way you can skip all the hard shit.

- When out shopping with Kim, shoplift. It saves Money and increases your Style Points. Plus, whatever, it’ll be fine.
Finish reading Cheat Codes for the Kim Kardashian iPhone Game

Cheat Codes for the Kim Kardashian iPhone Game

- At the load screen, tap the K Star six times in a row to skip right to being spotted by a Big Hollywood Agent who wants to make you a Big Hollywood Super Star.



- At the character select screen, swipe down, then left, then left again to gain 5000 Social Media points and a write-up on a some blog calling you an “Instagram Celeb.”



-  Tap the Hollywood sign twelve times to up your Star Rating by fucking a photographer at the Torque premiere.



- When talking to the VALET PARKING GUY outside Kim’s perfume launch party, TIP TRIPLE to get four free Speedballs and an exclusive invite to McG’s forty-fifth at his Venice fuckpad.



- When Jake (the Journalist) asks you out, instead of tapping “Sure!” or “Let’s just be friends”, scroll left, then right, then left, then right, then up, then down to gain 100 Love Points and instead get martinis with Chez, a guy who “did some consulting on SAW VI” and “can definitely get you your own reality show, hundo percent.”

          BONUS: To up your Star Rating, sign whatever he hands you. That way you can skip all the hard shit.



- When out shopping with Kim, shoplift. It saves Money and increases your Style Points. Plus, whatever, it’ll be fine.

Finish reading Cheat Codes for the Kim Kardashian iPhone Game

Your swimsuit is saying more than just, “I’m mostly naked.”

6 MORE - Finish reading What You’re Saying With Your Bathing Suit

Finish reading 9 Ways To Get Your Facebook Friends To Instantly Unfriend You

Wendy Has Fallen on Some Hard Times

Wendy Has Fallen on Some Hard Times

(Source: reddit.com)

Here are five uncomfortable examples of chemistry between two actors that clearly was NOT meant to be part of the plot: 

5. The Hunger Games: Katniss and Cinna

Finish reading The 5 Creepiest Examples of Sexual Tension Between Characters

Vote for the Most Depressingly Inaccurate Fan Art

Accuracy is overrated. It’s the thought that counts. Kind of.

The official voting period ends Tuesday August 5, 2014 at 10:00AM so get your votes in now.

How Road Head Can Go Wrong [Click to finish]

THIS SUMMER’S GONNA BE ALL ABOUT SURF, SAND, AND SHAKY PLOT STRUCTURE.

Finish reading More Accurate Titles for This Summer’s Movies

Jake and Amir: Horoscopes

Your wish is your command.

Finish reading Why Catcalling Isn’t Always a Bad Thing

SWEET MOTHER OF GOD! There’s a cockroach in your house!

I don’t know what vengeful deity you’ve offended to deserve this fate, but now you have to deal with it!

WHAT WILL YOU DO?

1. Panic.

2. Invite your neighbor over, then have him kill it.

3. Muster your courage and kill it yourself.

4. Move out of your house.