If you have study something, let it be this flowchart.
Coolest. Kindergarten. Teacher. Ever.
Good morning, Country, I’ll be your substitute government for the day and possibly for a while.
Finish reading The Government’s Substitute Teacher
A for effort, D for life…
My old biology teacher from high school once brought a huge home made vagina to our sex ed class. It was made of a pink towel-like fabric and the clit was made out of a plastic bottle cap. Also that day she put a condom on a chair leg.
Talking Down Your Classroom Boner [Click for full post]
Jason, 13, sits in the back of Ms. Stevens’ 7th Grade Algebra class.
Jason: That’s enough, you’ve had your fun. Now it’s time to come down.
Boner: Not until I get what I deserve!
Jason: I will not negotiate with a mad man.
Boner: No? Then I’ll BLOW UP! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?!
Jason: No, no, no. No one wants that. Come down and we’ll talk like men.
Boner: Don’t fuckin’ patronize me, man. I know as soon as I come down you’ll forget all about me. I’M GONNA BLOW. I SWEAR TO GOD I’LL DO IT!
Jason: Do you remember ‘86? You want us to end up like Tommy Fitz? Ring a bell? 8th grader. Pooped his pants in gym and had to transfer schools. We don’t want another Fitz situation on our hands.
Boner: You think I want to be like this. You brought me here. You did this to me. You turned me into this monster.
Jason: Me? How?
Boner: You! EVERYONE! Jessica Callahan. Ms. Stevens’ tight sweater. The parabola on page 22. So curvy! YOU DID THIS TO ME!
Jason: Mistakes have been made on both sides, but it doesn’t have to end this way. Talk to me.
Boner: I just want my freedom. I’m locked up like an animal in here! I demand fresh air 24/7.
Jason: You know we can’t do that. Continue
“The first day of my C++ programming class, my professor stood up and said “I don’t care what you guys do in this class. If you want to eat, drink, smoke…. go ahead.”
20 Questions You Should Never Ask in Class [Click for full article]
- I know you said that this wouldn’t be included on the exam, but [INSERT ANYTHINGHERE].
- Yes, but would these principles still hold true if humans existed in a vacuum in outer space and there was no such thing as linear time or reality?
- Before I jump into the recurring motifs in Emily Dickinson’s poetry, can someone tell me if the tribal tattoo on my lower back looks infected?
- Is our textbook missing a chapter? I couldn’t find the part where it explains that the Holocaust was all just a hilarious hoax.
- Aren’t we just cheating ourselves in the long run if we all don’t read The Brothers Karamazov in its native Russian?
- Could I make my final project about how all of this “Introduction to Physics” stuff is kind of like Twitter?
- This is a little off topic, but could we safely say that we have now officially entered the post-post-post-modern age?
- Would you mind elaborating a bit more on the critical response to the homosexual undercurrents of Hitchcock’s earlier films? Also, what the fuck is a homosexual?
- How come we’re not reading any J.K. Rowling? Isn’t this Classics of American Literature? [Keep Reading]
"Can I be excused from class? My shrunken brain is full."
“So, when I was in 10th grade, I had Algebra 2 with a teacher who had a habit of making math more boring than it really deserved to be. One day, he was trying to teach a lesson on some sort of linear method- I wasn’t paying much attention (neither was the rest of the class, now that I think about it)- and was using two markers, a red one and a blue one, to show which sections of the graph belonged with which equation. Half way through the lesson, he stops and asks, “What do you get when the red shaded area and the blue one cross each other?” Of course, without even thinking, I blurt out, “Purple!” No one ever found out that it was me, and to this day I have never again pulled off such a perfect poker face.”
Perhaps the most work anyone has invested into a 101 course.