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Knock, knock. Hey, sport. Are you busy? Well, just take a quick homework break. We need to talk.
Yes, “the talk.”
I know, I know, this is a bit awkward. But you’re growing up and as your father I need to tell you about, uh, how the world works. I just want to make sure you have all the facts. About jay-walking.
Click to see more: Son, We Need To Talk About Jaywalking

Knock, knock. Hey, sport. Are you busy? Well, just take a quick homework break. We need to talk.

Yes, “the talk.”

I know, I know, this is a bit awkward. But you’re growing up and as your father I need to tell you about, uh, how the world works. I just want to make sure you have all the facts. About jay-walking.

Click to see more: Son, We Need To Talk About Jaywalking

Getting Friend-Zoned Has Never Been This Adorable
You should really see this kid’s good riting. 

Getting Friend-Zoned Has Never Been This Adorable

You should really see this kid’s good riting. 

(Source: reddit.com)

7 Actually Useful Children’s Books for Twenty-Somethings

3 MORE

Comedians Tell Kids that Santa Isn’t Real

He doesn’t know when you are sleeping or when you’re awake because HE’S NOT REAL!

(Source: youtube.com)

"When did we win the lottery?"

When you were seven you had never seen more than forty-five dollars in one place, so the thought that you’d spend that much money on a gift for one person is earth shattering. Do you know how much lemonade you’d have to sell in December to acquire that amount of wealth? Yes, you’re an adult who can do math. When you were seven you could get away with giving mom something you made in art class, but now you have some means of income so a “push pot” just isn’t going to cut it.

4 MORE Things You’ll do This Christmas that Would Blow Your Mind When You Were 7 Years Old

(Source: College Humor)

This is Why You’re Not Allowed to Babysit Anymore

These Babysitters Club books all end in jail.

Finish reading How I Spent My Government Shutdown By John Boehner, Age 63 [Click for more]

Cats Loving Babies & Vice Versa

Dogs: man’s OLD best friend.

(Source: youtube.com)

Just a Typical Pre-School Field Trip in NYC

What did we learn today, kids? Actually, nevermind.

(Source: youtube.com)

Posing And Peeing
A picture’s worth a thousand little turds who can’t stand still.

Posing And Peeing

A picture’s worth a thousand little turds who can’t stand still.

(Source: Posing And Peeing A picture's worth a thousand little turds who can't stand still.)

1. Cars: Cars can’t talk. This is supposed to be a heartwarming tale about a cocky protagonist learning what really matters in life, right? Too bad the audience is COMPLETELY unable to focus on this aspect because, oh yeah, all of the characters are CARS, but they all somehow manage to speak PERFECT ENGLISH! I tried talking to MY car in English once, and all it did was sit there silently and remind me how LONELY I am!
2. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone: Magic isn’t real. This movie starts out great when it looks like it’s going to be about how to ostracize people who are weird and small. But then, all of a sudden, it turns out that the wimpy kid with glasses has MAGIC POWERS! Oh, wow, totally believable, except that MAGIC DOESN’T EXIST! I’ve known this ever since a magician came to my sixth birthday party and said he was going to pull a rabbit out of a hat but wound up just having sex with my mom.
3. The Fox and the Hound: In real life, it is impossible to overcome differences. I haven’t spoken to my brother in TEN YEARS because he thinks Paul McCartney is more talented than John Lennon, but I’m supposed to believe that a fox and a hound will IGNORE the roles society has already laid out for them and become FRIENDS? No way. Also, I REALLY MISS my brother.
4. Rookie of the Year: The Cubs are terrible. Seriously, have you seen their record this year? It’s pathetic.
1 MORE HUGE Plot Hole in a Classic Children’s Films [Click to read]

1. Cars: Cars can’t talk. This is supposed to be a heartwarming tale about a cocky protagonist learning what really matters in life, right? Too bad the audience is COMPLETELY unable to focus on this aspect because, oh yeah, all of the characters are CARS, but they all somehow manage to speak PERFECT ENGLISH! I tried talking to MY car in English once, and all it did was sit there silently and remind me how LONELY I am!

2. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone: Magic isn’t real. This movie starts out great when it looks like it’s going to be about how to ostracize people who are weird and small. But then, all of a sudden, it turns out that the wimpy kid with glasses has MAGIC POWERS! Oh, wow, totally believable, except that MAGIC DOESN’T EXIST! I’ve known this ever since a magician came to my sixth birthday party and said he was going to pull a rabbit out of a hat but wound up just having sex with my mom.

3. The Fox and the Hound: In real life, it is impossible to overcome differences. I haven’t spoken to my brother in TEN YEARS because he thinks Paul McCartney is more talented than John Lennon, but I’m supposed to believe that a fox and a hound will IGNORE the roles society has already laid out for them and become FRIENDS? No way. Also, I REALLY MISS my brother.

4. Rookie of the Year: The Cubs are terrible. Seriously, have you seen their record this year? It’s pathetic.

1 MORE HUGE Plot Hole in a Classic Children’s Films [Click to read]

This Kids is Gonna Dunk It! (Not)

A true slam dumbnk.

(Source: youtube.com)

Tonight You Belong to Me (Cover) - Dad and 4-Year-Old Daughter

Pretty cute, until you remember that fireworks are coming.

(Source: youtube.com)

BatDad Vine Compilation

He’s the father we deserve.

(Source: youtube.com)

5 Children's Books that Should Be Optioned as Movies Immediately »