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The secret origins of your favorite gifs, REVEALED!

Finish reading The 6 Ridiculous Comics that Explain Your Favorite GIFS

What Your Favorite NBA Playoff Team Says About You
Click for the Eastern Conference

What Your Favorite NBA Playoff Team Says About You

Click for the Eastern Conference

Finish reading PSA’s of the Future

Some insane tips that will take your game to another world.
10 Ways to Drive a Girl CRAZY in the Bedroom
1. First and foremost, take it slow! Always be sure to pay attention to your partner’s needs and desires.
2.  Start the foreplay! Let her warm up to you with some tender cuddling.
3. Kiss her slowly and sensually. Caress her neck and shoulders to deepen your connection.
4. Slowly but confidently massage every inch of her skin. If she’s receptive to it, try using your tongue.
5. Once she’s comfortable, invoke the sigil of a long-dead Elder God of your choosing.
6. Wrap the unknown terror of the universe around her very soul like a warm cloak of the finest sable. If done right, this will really get her going! 
Finish reading 10 Ways to Drive a Girl CRAZY in the Bedroom


Some insane tips that will take your game to another world.

10 Ways to Drive a Girl CRAZY in the Bedroom

1. First and foremost, take it slow! Always be sure to pay attention to your partner’s needs and desires.

2.  Start the foreplay! Let her warm up to you with some tender cuddling.

3. Kiss her slowly and sensually. Caress her neck and shoulders to deepen your connection.

4. Slowly but confidently massage every inch of her skin. If she’s receptive to it, try using your tongue.

5. Once she’s comfortable, invoke the sigil of a long-dead Elder God of your choosing.

6. Wrap the unknown terror of the universe around her very soul like a warm cloak of the finest sable. If done right, this will really get her going! 

Finish reading 10 Ways to Drive a Girl CRAZY in the Bedroom

A mind-blowing chart about your growing mind.
What the Other 90% of Our Brains Is ACTUALLY Used For
If you’re a fan of our illustrator Caldwell then subscribe to The Drawfee Channel on YouTube and watch him at work.  

A mind-blowing chart about your growing mind.

What the Other 90% of Our Brains Is ACTUALLY Used For

If you’re a fan of our illustrator Caldwell then subscribe to The Drawfee Channel on YouTube and watch him at work.  

A Letter From Your Long Lost Nokia Phone
Do you remember me? Do you remember the way you used to hold me? The way you used to make me feel needed? The way you used to pay $49.99 a month to whisper sweet nothings into my ear for 600 minutes plus 50 whenever minutes? Do you remember me, your Nokia 3310?Incase you can’t recall, it was a time before texts. It was a time before cameras, video, and a time before color screens. A black and white world. Simple. You eat a tiny square and the snake grows one tiny square longer. No Temple Run. No Angry Birds. No 4 inch screens to play it all on. It was as cut and dry as an 8-bit ringtone. You needed me and I needed you.I still remember how it happened, too. Don’t you? In the beginning the communication was great. We both wanted it. And that’s how it works. It’s mutual. But then little by little you grew distant. The broken phone calls. The “I-can’t-hear-yous”. The “we’re-breaking-ups,” as if the miscommunication was my fault. Sure, you caught me roaming that one summer we left the service area, but in hind-sight it’s so easy to see it was just the provider (ha! Isn’t that always how it goes?).But soon enough the broken calls became less and less. You wanted something that “worked”. And just like that you cast me aside. Me. Your go-to-gal. Your best friend. Your Nokia 3310! You cast me aside and you made me feel unwanted—helpless and out of service. Until one day you came home with someone else. Something else. The Motorola Razr.
Sure, you felt that initial guilt. The detachment and fear of something new. After all, you were so used to my push keyboard and bulky frame. I mean, why would you want something else? But you did. She was thin and I was not. She was sleek. A new slender design. And of course, she could flip. And you liked that, no matter what you said. You knew you liked it. I knew you liked it. And it didn’t make anything any easier.Jokes on her though, right? Because how long did that one last? Twelve? Eighteen months? And what did you say it was? More miscommunication? Not enough space? Or was it just a taste for something new? Pretty soon you cast aside Ol’ Razr to satiate your hunger with something sweeter. The LG Chocolate KG800. Although, that didn’t last too long either. Remind me. What came next? Was it the BlackBerry? Or was it the BlackBerry Storm? The Bold? The Curve 8900? And at what point did you finally realize a new adjective wouldn’t fix that dying relationship?And now for the new girl. I said I wouldn’t, but I can’t resist. The way you flaunt her around. Show her off. Touch her. Grope her. Finger her screen. What’s her name? Sophie? Jaclyn? iPhone 5s? And I think we all know what the “s” stands for. You can’t even go to the bathroom without her! You two are inseparable! And it makes me sick. You make me sick. Because you know what? It’s only a matter of time and we both know it. It’s not the miscommunication. It’s not the storage space, the service provider or whatever else you’ve blamed it on. No, it’s you. It’s you and your undying need to feed from the hand of consumerist America. And for that I pity you.So here I sit. Covered in dust. Biding my time between a sack of soggy Pogs and a lost container of Crazy Bones. Idle. Silently waiting for the call of opportunity. And when opportunity finally rings, who will pick up? Will it be the sleek design of the Motorola Razr? How about the sweet new Chocolate? One of the many forgotten BlackBerrys? The iPhone with her brittle glass exterior? Or will it be the one who was built to last? The one who once reigned as queen of the cell phones. The one you left for dead. Me. Your Nokia 3310.

A Letter From Your Long Lost Nokia Phone

Do you remember me? Do you remember the way you used to hold me? The way you used to make me feel needed? The way you used to pay $49.99 a month to whisper sweet nothings into my ear for 600 minutes plus 50 whenever minutes? Do you remember me, your Nokia 3310?

Incase you can’t recall, it was a time before texts. It was a time before cameras, video, and a time before color screens. A black and white world. Simple. You eat a tiny square and the snake grows one tiny square longer. No Temple Run. No Angry Birds. No 4 inch screens to play it all on. It was as cut and dry as an 8-bit ringtone. You needed me and I needed you.

I still remember how it happened, too. Don’t you? In the beginning the communication was great. We both wanted it. And that’s how it works. It’s mutual. But then little by little you grew distant. The broken phone calls. The “I-can’t-hear-yous”. The “we’re-breaking-ups,” as if the miscommunication was my fault. Sure, you caught me roaming that one summer we left the service area, but in hind-sight it’s so easy to see it was just the provider (ha! Isn’t that always how it goes?).

But soon enough the broken calls became less and less. You wanted something that “worked”. And just like that you cast me aside. Me. Your go-to-gal. Your best friend. Your Nokia 3310! You cast me aside and you made me feel unwanted—helpless and out of service. Until one day you came home with someone else. Something else. The Motorola Razr.

Sure, you felt that initial guilt. The detachment and fear of something new. After all, you were so used to my push keyboard and bulky frame. I mean, why would you want something else? But you did. She was thin and I was not. She was sleek. A new slender design. And of course, she could flip. And you liked that, no matter what you said. You knew you liked it. I knew you liked it. And it didn’t make anything any easier.

Jokes on her though, right? Because how long did that one last? Twelve? Eighteen months? And what did you say it was? More miscommunication? Not enough space? Or was it just a taste for something new? Pretty soon you cast aside Ol’ Razr to satiate your hunger with something sweeter. The LG Chocolate KG800. Although, that didn’t last too long either. Remind me. What came next? Was it the BlackBerry? Or was it the BlackBerry Storm? The Bold? The Curve 8900? And at what point did you finally realize a new adjective wouldn’t fix that dying relationship?

And now for the new girl. I said I wouldn’t, but I can’t resist. The way you flaunt her around. Show her off. Touch her. Grope her. Finger her screen. What’s her name? Sophie? Jaclyn? iPhone 5s? And I think we all know what the “s” stands for. You can’t even go to the bathroom without her! You two are inseparable! And it makes me sick. You make me sick. Because you know what? It’s only a matter of time and we both know it. It’s not the miscommunication. It’s not the storage space, the service provider or whatever else you’ve blamed it on. No, it’s you. It’s you and your undying need to feed from the hand of consumerist America. And for that I pity you.

So here I sit. Covered in dust. Biding my time between a sack of soggy Pogs and a lost container of Crazy Bones. Idle. Silently waiting for the call of opportunity. And when opportunity finally rings, who will pick up? Will it be the sleek design of the Motorola Razr? How about the sweet new Chocolate? One of the many forgotten BlackBerrys? The iPhone with her brittle glass exterior? Or will it be the one who was built to last? The one who once reigned as queen of the cell phones. The one you left for dead. Me. Your Nokia 3310.

Together, they are truly the highest holiday.

Finish reading 6 Reasons Easter and 420 Are Actually the Same Holiday

10 Ways You Know That You Are a Stoner

10 Ways You Know That You Are a Stoner

Shia LaBeouf Only Owns One Pair of Pants »
What Your Favorite NBA Playoff Team Says About You
Click for the Western Conference

What Your Favorite NBA Playoff Team Says About You

Click for the Western Conference

One backpack strap? REALLY?
Read The 6 Stages Of Judging Strangers In Public

One backpack strap? REALLY?

Read The 6 Stages Of Judging Strangers In Public

Finish reading PSAs of the Future

A handy flowchart to answer the question once and for all.
Finish reading Should You Send That Dick Pic?

A handy flowchart to answer the question once and for all.

Finish reading Should You Send That Dick Pic?

The secret origins of your favorite gifs, REVEALED!

Finish reading The 6 Ridiculous Comics that Explain Your Favorite GIFS

Written and Illustrated by AC Stuart, see more of his work at NoobtheLoser.Tumblr.com!