I was a tour guide at a cave when I was in high school. Many times, fathers in my tour groups would feel insecure about being under the watch of a teenager and would ask stupid questions like “What if I touch this formation?” or “What if I fart in the cave?” just to throw me off. As often as I felt appropriate, I’d respond with, “Well then we’d all dieā€¦” and then I’d turn the lights of and scream. I didn’t get tipped much.