At first Elton John seems kind of cheesy but basically most of his songs are about having fun, falling in love, or not wanting to die or experience pain. How could you not love “Your Song”? It’s yours.
A real click-turner.
Finish reading “If Popular Books Had Clickbait Titles”
Welcome to the magical journey of unemployment.
Click to finish What to Expect When You’re Expecting to Maybe Get a Job
J.K. Rowling’s Deleted Harry Potter Character [Keep reading]
Celebrate Harry Potter’s birthday by remembering deleted character Kenny Nesbit. Or check out other Harry Potter-related content here.
Master of horror, Stephen King, has written over fifty novels, but you don’t have to read nearly that many before you start noticing the patterns in his work. Everyone choose a different Stephen King book and start playing Kingo: Stephen King bingo.
(Source: College Humor)
Kings Landing = Washington, DC
It’s the capitol, it’s full of corrupt people vying for titles, and it’s built on the backs of the poor. Everyone is vying for the Iron Throne and it’s hard to figure out who to root for.
Winterfell = Boston, MA
Beautiful in the summer and uninhabitable in the winter. The inhabitants incorrectly think their city is the center of the empire. It is, however, the only real city in its region. (Providence? Really?) The people there are honorable and resilient, and spend much of their time watching sports. Not many black people.
The King’s Road = I-95
A highly trafficked route from Winterfell to King’s Landing, the road is littered with inns and merchants. There are also many bandits who live alongside it in dangerous places like New Haven, Newark, and Baltimore.
Beyond the Wall = Canada
It’s cold, it’s vast, and it’s terrifying. But the wildlings are a good people once you get to know them. Also it’s governed by a monarch far away who doesn’t actually hold any real power in the people’s minds.
Castle Black = Canadian Border Crossing
This is all that separates us from the unknown terror of the great white north. Also it’s manned by a bunch of humorless guys that don’t get laid.
The Iron Islands = Pittsburgh, PA
Cold, wet, gray, and nicknamed for metal, this is a place that was once prominent but is now full of working class people and pirates. And the pirates have been horrible for many years.
Casterly Rock = New York City
The regional capital (and the financial center of the Empire), it used to be ruled by a different group – until they were tricked into trusting a foreigner. Now it’s ruled by rich people who think they’re better parents than they are.
Lannisport = Greenwich, CT
Situated close to the main city, but far enough away that the citizens don’t need to be bothered. Also, it’s full of money and incest.
Harrenhal = Chicago, IL
It’s rich, and it’s on the way to most things. But the governing of it seems to be cursed as no one can rule it for long. And it burnt down once.
Valyria = Detroit, MI
Due to its fearsome beasts with great abilities to travel, this was once the center of the world and a shining jewel of civilization. But then a cataclysmic event rendered it a smoldering ruin of its former glory. The only thing that endures is a bit of their ancient music. And the secrets of manufacturing things there have long been forgotten.
Dorn = Napa Valley, CA
Remote area known for women, wine, and boringness.
(Source: College Humor)
I Haven’t Read a Book Since… [Click for more]
In “Twidiots”, we collect the choicest thoughts on a particular topic from Twitter’s millions of users.
A classic of American literature, ruined by man’s best friend.
Chapter 1: Economy
When I wrote the following pages, or rather the bulk of them, I lived alone, in the woods, a mile from any neighbor, in a house which I had built myself, on the shore of Walden Pond, in Concord, Massachusetts, with my dog Scrappy.
Scrappy is a dachshund mix I got from a “breeder” in Lexington. She met me in the back of the Stop and Shop and fished him from a crate of puppies in the backseat. $150 cash. No receipt, no worries. A man is rich in proportion to the number of bullshit things he doesn’t have to worry about.
Chapter 2: Where I Lived and What I Lived For
To him whose elastic and vigorous thought keeps pace with the sun, the day is a perpetual morning. To be awake is to be alive.
But at 4:30am? Christ, Scrappy. I awaken to the incessant lap of his tongue on his under-parts. Desperate, I resort to earplugs. The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation trying to drown out such sounds.
Chapter 5: Solitude
I have a great deal of company in my house; especially in the morning, when nobody calls. I am no more lonely than the Mill Brook, or a weathercock, or the northstar, or the south wind, or an April shower, or a January thaw, or the first spider in a new house.
Plus I have this fucking dog. Who barks when a cricket scratches its ear - Keep reading
J.K. Rowling and Playstation team up to fix reading.
You check out King’s newest novel on his rack. EHHYOOO.
Game of Thrones: The Abridged Version.
TV Shows You Didn’t Know Were Based on Books [Click for select passages]
The books were better.
Why Do Bad Things Happen? [Click to finish and learn the truth]