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Have Big Boobs? “Two Sports Bras” Is The Commercial Parody You’ll Love

What Middle America Is Like According To Truck Commercials
We’re strong, simple people. We enjoy the simple pleasures: Flannel, dirty gloves, throwing lumber onto truckbeds in slow-mo, leaning on fences, you name it. MAN do we love leaning on fences. Wood fences, wire fences — you give us a fence, we’ll lean the fuck on it.Out here, it’s always sunrise or sunset. Are there other times in the day? We don’t know. And frankly, we don’t want to know. We’re simple like that. All we know is that this lumber has to go from here to somewhere else, and it’s up to us to move it. Also there’s horses out here so shut those greasy gates and let’s peel out into the mud.Us? We’re all about family. When we’re not about lumber. Which is often. But we’ll swing by the son’s Little League game and rub his head when his team loses, then swing by the gal’s Little League game and rub her head when her team loses. Just let em know that it’s all gonna be ok because we love them, and we’ll get that lumber where it needs to go.But we’re not afraid to let loose every now and then! Sometimes we go to the diner where the way-too-attractive waitress pours us coffee and gives us broad smiles. She may look like a model but she’s got flannel on and never isn’t turning around with a coffee pot so she’s one of us.We live on a porch. Quiet. Homely. Not much call for buildings in our town — we’re not really into ‘frills’ — just give us a porch and some iced tea pitchers with the sun shining through them and we’re as happy as a pig in gloves leaning on a fence.At night, we just admire the stars. LOVE those stars. Who needs a television when you got stars? Not us, that’s who.My son points up at the stars as if to say “wow!” I smile. I am glad my son enjoys the stars. At least one kid gets that you don’t need ‘video games’ when you have stars. They’re like our own little tiny, glowing fences in the sky for our eyes to lean on. Truly magical.In conclusion, I love this country.My wife is a truck made of fences.

What Middle America Is Like According To Truck Commercials

We’re strong, simple people. We enjoy the simple pleasures: Flannel, dirty gloves, throwing lumber onto truckbeds in slow-mo, leaning on fences, you name it. MAN do we love leaning on fences. Wood fences, wire fences — you give us a fence, we’ll lean the fuck on it.

Out here, it’s always sunrise or sunset. Are there other times in the day? We don’t know. And frankly, we don’t want to know. We’re simple like that. All we know is that this lumber has to go from here to somewhere else, and it’s up to us to move it. Also there’s horses out here so shut those greasy gates and let’s peel out into the mud.

Us? We’re all about family. When we’re not about lumber. Which is often. But we’ll swing by the son’s Little League game and rub his head when his team loses, then swing by the gal’s Little League game and rub her head when her team loses. Just let em know that it’s all gonna be ok because we love them, and we’ll get that lumber where it needs to go.

But we’re not afraid to let loose every now and then! Sometimes we go to the diner where the way-too-attractive waitress pours us coffee and gives us broad smiles. She may look like a model but she’s got flannel on and never isn’t turning around with a coffee pot so she’s one of us.

We live on a porch. Quiet. Homely. Not much call for buildings in our town — we’re not really into ‘frills’ — just give us a porch and some iced tea pitchers with the sun shining through them and we’re as happy as a pig in gloves leaning on a fence.

At night, we just admire the stars. LOVE those stars. Who needs a television when you got stars? Not us, that’s who.

My son points up at the stars as if to say “wow!” I smile. I am glad my son enjoys the stars. At least one kid gets that you don’t need ‘video games’ when you have stars. They’re like our own little tiny, glowing fences in the sky for our eyes to lean on. Truly magical.

In conclusion, I love this country.

My wife is a truck made of fences.

Read What Middle America Is Like According To Truck Commercials
We’re just simple folk who love fences and throwin’ wood in slo-mo!

Read What Middle America Is Like According To Truck Commercials

We’re just simple folk who love fences and throwin’ wood in slo-mo!

17 Valentine's Day Ads Gone Weird »

Banned Kay Jewelers Holiday Commercial (Feat. Brittani Louise Taylor)

Every fight begins with Kay.

(Source: youtube.com)

Kmart Ship My Trousers Commercial

This my ship.

(Source: youtube.com)

Tools For Ladies… or Low Testosterone Males
Take your supplements, gentlemen.

Tools For Ladies… or Low Testosterone Males

Take your supplements, gentlemen.

(Source: reddit.com)

Every 20 Minutes a Child is Diagnosed With a Mustache
They could really use your hair.

Every 20 Minutes a Child is Diagnosed With a Mustache

They could really use your hair.

(Source: reddit.com)

Phone Drop Commercial

Why drop calls when you can drop the whole damn thing.

(Source: youtube.com)

No. 2 Chinese Restaurant

No. 2 is #1!!

(Source: youtube.com)

Banned iPad Air Promo

So fresh and new you won’t believe it.

(Source: youtube.com)

You and your Johnson

If you think this is crazy you should see their Twitter.

(Source: youtube.com)

Armani Now Sells Baby Diapers in Russia
Now Russian babies can keep it clean in style.

Armani Now Sells Baby Diapers in Russia

Now Russian babies can keep it clean in style.

(Source: armanirussia.ru)

This Just In: Dish Detergent Allows You to Clean Dishes
Right, and Elizabeth II is the Queen of England.

This Just In: Dish Detergent Allows You to Clean Dishes

Right, and Elizabeth II is the Queen of England.

(Source: reddit.com)

The Top 5 Most Offensive Superbowl Commercials [Click for more]

Gangnam Pistachios

This one typifies one of the most destructive double-standards in society today. Why is that when we see men dancing on TV, they’re always having goofy fun WITH THEIR CLOTHES ON, but when you look at the OTHER side, every single depiction of anthropomorphic pistachios shows them sexily peeling off their shells within seconds. This objectification of anthropomorphic pistachios is irresponsible. Pistachios are more than objects. That’s why we took the the time to anthropomorphize them — so they would have human qualities! What kind of example is this setting? Pistachios are more than just a shell waiting to be cracked open, and sometimes pistachios do that weird thing where they’re not split and you can NEVER get them open. We need to make sure that these more realistic depictions of anthropomorphic pistachios are presented in media today. Continue

(Source: youtube.com)