We told readers to send in topics for papers they had to write, and we’d write the papers for them in an hour (ish). So here’s what we came up with, in all their guaranteed-A-getting glory!
Here’s the prompt for the 2nd paper which was also just finished.
Proof That Everything is Shitty in It’s First Draft [Click for more]
They say the best writing is rewriting, and that really couldn’t be more true for some of history’s (and pop culture’s) greatest works. PaulLaudiero over at ShitRoughDrafts.com happened to get a hold of a BUNCH of these (OK he made them up), and now we have a peek into the infant versions of famous pieces. If at first you don’t succeed, write, write again. Right? Right.
How to Write Bestselling Erotic Fiction [Click for all your “How To” tips]
Erotic fiction is all the rage these days — and if you’re anything like me, your first response to this trend is, “No thanks,” and your second is, “But wait — can I cash in on that?!” Well, you are in luck! I am here to tell you that writing high-quality smut is as easy as I heard you were in high school. Tramp.
There are several important guidelines to follow when writing straight-up filthy filth for the masses. Keep these simple points in mind, and in no time at all you’ll be on board the gravy train that is the growing erotic fiction market. Just don’t think about the gravy too much. Let’s get started.
This cat doesn’t have thumbs, so this cat can’t write for CollegeHumor.
Here’s one of our recent user submissions that was published.
I Think My Roommate’s Novel Is About Me [Click for more]
The truth is stranger than fiction. And more passive aggressive.
If Your Friends Hated Everything Like They Hate Sports [Click for more]
Bennigan’s Wake [Click for article]
James Joyce loves it (almost as much as Ruby Tulysses).
TLDNR: 5 Easy Steps to Get Rid of Someone Standing Behind You While You’re on the Computer [Click for full article]
We’ve all been there! You’re sitting down at your computer to browse around, play some games, do some shopping, whatever, but then someone up and stands right behind you. They probably don’t mean any harm but it’s certainly hard to enjoy your time on the computer with Big Brother looking over your shoulder. Here’s how to get rid of anyone – a sibling, a parent, a roommate, a girlfriend, boyfriend, husband or wife – in 5 simple steps! Stacy, honey, I’m trying to do that article right now, OK? Just give me a few minutes. Please.
1. Give them the time of day! Maybe the unwanted lurker just has a quick question and doesn’t want to interrupt. Turn around and say something like, “Hey! What’s up?” More often than not, the lurker will ask a question, you can answer and the situation is resloved in no time. Yeah, I know I spelled it wrong, Stacy. I’ll go back and fix it in a minute but I’m trying to get a first draft done. This is how writing works, babe, OK? You’re not a writer so you don’t really get it. Just hang in the living room and I’ll be in when I’m done. [Keep Reading]
Every All-Nighter Paper You Write [Click for full article]
Because you never learn.
She’s almost as robotic as the anchorlady.
Screencap - Essay Suggestions
Never ask for favors on Facebook
The Best Way to End a TV Show [Click to continue reading]
Also, copy this phone number to call if you have numerical dyslexia!