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Venn Diagram: Things Liked By Babies, Idiots, and Stoners
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Venn Diagram: Things Liked By Babies, Idiots, and Stoners

If you liked this, you may also like:

THIS is how you quit a job.

News Anchor Quits on the Air to Sell Weed

What to expect: Comically dressed hallucinations.

Finish reading If Beers Were Named Like Weed Strains

I’m at an age where I use adult solutions to immature problems, so I fired my weed dealer for being late to work and showing up high.

"Real stoners are wishing you happy 4/20 today." - Streeter Seidell

Come see Streeter, Jake & Amir this Thursday in Seattle (4/24) and this Friday in Portland (4/25). 

They’ll be meeting/taking photos with anyone that sticks around after the show! 

Together, they are truly the highest holiday.

Finish reading 6 Reasons Easter and 420 Are Actually the Same Holiday

10 Ways You Know That You Are a Stoner

10 Ways You Know That You Are a Stoner

How Not to Buy Drugs

Are you my guy? Are you the guy I’m meeting? My friend said you’d be wearing a hat. That’s not very descriptive though, there are like 30 people out here wearing hats. My boy said to just drop his name. So here it goes. Ryan. Does that do anything for you? Do you know Ryan? Cool, I guess you’re my guy. Ryan’s guy with the hat, what a foolproof method, can’t go wrong there.

So he said you had good stuff at a fair price. No, I don’t want weed idiot, I want cannabis sativa. Oh, right, I was just joking. So how much tetrahydrocannabinol is in this? You don’t know? I feel like that’s something you should know. You would be a horrible salesman in the real world. Sorry, sorry, I’m just saying.

I don’t know how much I want. How much is enough for me to get high, but not too high, just like a medium high. Is a pound enough to get me high…better give me two, just in case? An eighth? Of a pound? Oh right, ounce, I knew that. A dime bag? Wow, it’s that cheap. In that case give me like 20 dime bags. I thought drugs were a lot more expensive, I guess the economy’s doing well.

So once I have it I just tie up and shoot it up into my arm right? Snort it? Smoke it? Can’t I just eat it plain? Gotcha! I’m just messing with you man. But seriously, can I just eat it? No? Ok.

What the hell is this?!? What’re you trying to sell me? A clump of green dirt? Are you trying to pull a fast one on me? Listen up mister and listen up well, I’m no fool. I looked up marijuana on Wikipedia. I know it’s a leaf with a lot of pretty petals. This stuff looks like dried up leprechaun feces.

So what’re the effects? I want to experience the world in a new light. What’s it going to do to me? I have Attention Deficit Disorder with a tad bit of severe depression, could that be a problem? My health teacher in high school said marijuana is a gateway drug. Is that true? Will I be snorting coke off a prostitute’s ass next week? This may be a bad idea. I’m really starting to freak out!

Are you a cop?!? You don’t look like a cop, but you could be undercover. Show me your badge! A cop can’t refuse to show you his badge if he’s a cop. I saw that on a show once. Fine, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you’re not a cop. But if you are I’ll be very disappointed. I hate being lied to.

Oh, while I’m here, do you have any opium? We were talking about that in my history class the other day, sounded pretty cool. No? That’s ok. What about tobacco? Oh, that’s legal? Convenience store, got it. 

Actually all I have on me is my debit card? Do you take Visa? No? Oh man, guess this transaction isn’t going down today

I’ll come back another time.

(Source: College Humor)

How to Play Board Games While High »

A real stoner would forget it’s Bob Marley’s birthday. Just sayin…

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Brian Williams Slips a Subtle Weed Joke Into The News

Wait…was that a very subtle “pro-pot” joke in a random news story about a tennis match? [Rewinds DVR] Hm. Why yes, yes it was. Chalk that up as just another of many ‘winking’ pot references in the classic stoner comedy “The NBC Nightly News”.

CNN Reporter on a Contact High  

It’s now the Chronic News Network.

(Source: youtube.com)

Colorado Tourism Commercial (Now that Weed is Legal)

The altitude isn’t the only thing that’s high (i.e. the people are as well - high on marijuana).

(Source: youtube.com)

hysteroscope:

When Jake acts like a dog to oregano x

10 Things That Are A Big Deal In Movies But Stupid In Real Life

A comprehensive guide to 10 stock movie moments that are always a WAY bigger deal in movies than they ever are in real life.