Timeless Fables for Every College Student [Click for 4 more]
IdioTech: Grandpa Put the Electronic Teapot on the Stove [Click for full post]
Today, my grandpa put our electronic teapot on the stove to make coffee….. the battery melted and it still smells awful.
- George M.
My Grandma thought her cell phone was broken because she couldn’t hear the dial tone.
- Annie M.
If your grandma or grandpa is the cutest, dumbest person you know then submit your idiotech stories to our inbox.
(Source: College Humor)
You were never really around a whole lot, but I always thought you were kind of a prick. I suppose I didn’t have any really reason to, but when you would be gone for a week at a time boning your high-school girlfriend, I would pee in the sink beside your bed 5 or 6 times a night. I once jerked off into it because I was too lazy to look for an old rag. I farted all over your bed, used your razor, stole all your porn, and constantly pocketed change from your desk drawers. And I don’t know how you got so “stoned” on all that fake weed I was selling you.
(Source: College Humor)
Rough Love: If She Knows Star Wars, It’s True Love [Click for more]
Last night my wife and I were fixing supper and I casually asked her if she liked her bacon crunchy or chewy? Without pause she replied “Graaaaaarahhhaaaaaaaa” (*Wookiee Noise). I am ashamed to admit she as never seen a single Star Wars episode… all her knowledge of the force she has merely picked up in reference from me. The fact she associated chewy bacon with Chewbacca….. I have never loved her more. - J Larry
Is the force strong in your GF/BF/LF/MF? Submit your own Rough Love stories to our inbox. We just learned to read so send them our way.
IdioTech: It’s Hotmail, Not Hot Male [Click for full post]
My mother asked me what website she need to go to create a new email address. I told her to type in hotmail.com in the address bar. She typed in hotmale.com and got an embarassing result.
- A Ali
I got a phone call from my mom asking if I wanted her to get me an iTunes because apparently now it has the Beatles on it.
- Kalinka B
Text from my mom: “Dad says he will cum in 20 min”. Thanks for the mental image, Mom.
- Max M
(Source: College Humor)
I showed my girlfriend a picture of a caterpillar, and commented on its ugly coloration, black with yellow spots. She replied “Ugh, I hate animals with spots… Except for zebras!” She’s a law student.
My boyfriend has forced me to go see every twilight movie so far, he cant wait for the next one. he honestly cant see how terrible they are, and it is torture watch them T.T i now know the pain of every guy unfortunate enough to have a girlfriend who likes twilight.
One night while fooling around with my boyfriend, I was sitting naked on top of him giving him a hand job and he told me to talk dirty to him. As I was talking the dirtiest I could, I farted… on top of him…
Send us your dirtiest, smelliest rough love submissions. Send the stank straight to our Tumblr inbox.
More Internet Fairy Tales [Click for more]
Dial up to a bedtime story.
Read the previous tales here.
IdioTech: Meet Me at Facebook [Click for more]
My mom opened up her web browser. I recently set the homepage to Google. She exclaimed “Oh, we have Google now!”
Whenever my stepmom gets an error in a dialog box on her computer, she just turns off the monitor and says, “I’ll wait for your dad to get home and look at this.”
My dad told me to meet him at Facebook. He meant Starbucks.
If you know people that don’t understand the difference between “liking” a caramel macchiato venti and drinking a facebook post then submit your stories straight to our Tumblr. You won’t regret it, but your friends might.
I Married Her For Her Port-a-Potty Farts [Click for full post]
My wife has farts that make a state fair porta-potty smell good. This has become a nightly occurrence - Anonymous
So I was over my boyfriend’s house last night, and we started messing around a little. I got on top of him and started riding him, when all of a sudden he burst out laughing. I asked what he was laughing at and all he could get out was “Reach for the stars!” After about 10 minutes of hysterical laughter, he finally explained that somehow his mind had connected the cowgirl position with Woody from Toy Story, and “reaching for the stars” was him ejaculating. What have I gotten myself into?- naturegir
Having a rough love kind of week? We understand. Share it with the world and submit your stories right here on Tumblr.
Welcome to Idiotech, the column where we shame your parents, teachers, and other old people for being dumb about technology.
My grandmother asked me where she was supposed to “place the money” in her computer, And when I asked her why, she said it was to buy that sweater off the website I showed her.
Everytime my dad uses the internet, no matter the browser he will use a search engine and type the website’s url in there instead of the navigation bar.
My mom asked how long I’d be 18 years old the day before my birthday. It took her several minutes to realize what she had asked me.
I once texted my dad a link to a website and he asked how he could access the site on the computer instead of his phone…
Our first batch of Tumblr submitters are here! If you’d like to submit to IdioTech or any of our other columns then we just made it a whole lot easier. Send it straight to our Tumblr.
My roommate is so messy it’s disgusting. Weird smells come out of her room…I can’t even describe it, its like BO and sweaty gym socks and god only knows. There are crumbs all over our kitchen constantly no matter how much I clean it. I had to put out ant traps cuz I’m sure we will get ants sooner or later. She is always dropping things into the little metal things under the coils of the stove and never cleans it out after! Hello?? That stuff is gonna just burn later….when I’m cooking…. She has never once cleaned a thing in our apartment…ever. But I repay her for that because after I clean the bathroom I dry off all the surfaces with her face towel and then hang it back on the hook so she will use it to dry her face the next morning. I also put a few drops of pickle juice in her half gone gallon of milk so she thought it spoiled and threw it out….and I’ve done this a few times…love seeing her waste money. On an unrelated note….she contributed next to nothing to our apartment. Well that’s gonna bite her in the ass when I tell her I’m not renewing our lease and then she will be stuck with an apartment with nothing in it except her bed, a couch, and a frying pan. Whoops, guess she just won’t have a roommate but will be stuck here for her job ….or she can go back home and live with her parents. HA! Oh yea, and bitch has GOT to learn to chew with her mouth closed. No one wants to see half-eaten food rolling around in your mouth. DISGUSTING! Not to mention this girl is perpetually single. She has a gross face with no chin (how weird is that?). Not sure if she has ever dated anyone but she is so socially awkward I wouldn’t be surprised if she is 24 and still a virgin. I wish I could say all this to her face, or just be a complete bitch to her…but we work together…so I am forced to be courteous and nice. Lesson learned here: don’t ever live with someone you only know from work…chances are they are going to be a horrible roommate. Worst. Decision. Ever. - Corie
If you have a story like Corie (that rhymes) then submit yours straight to our Tumblr (that doesn’t)
Work Sucks: Slapped By A Sweet Old Lady [Click for full post]
On weekends I volunteer at an old folk’s home. On my second day working there, I was greeted at the entrance by the friendly dog that belongs to the home. I walked in with in with him and noticed a sweet old woman in a wheelchair beckoning me over. I smiled and asked what I could do for her. She slapped me and said, “I told you not to bring dogs in the house, bitch.” Lesson Learned: Never judge a book by its cover. Because even a sweet looking old lady in a pastel pink sweater can slap you and call you a bitch.
- Becka S
I worked at a Baskin Robbins for a year, dealing with the shittiest owner ever. He constantly made me work 8+ hour shifts by myself without a break and broke several other labor laws. I never confronted him because money is money and I needed the job. Today I was fired because last Sunday, a day i had requested off, i was scheduled to open, but didn’t since it should have been covered. Well guess who just call got off the phone with BR headquaters, the health department, and the family lawyer regarding serveral health and labor law violations? Yeah, better lawyer up bitch.
Does work suck for you too? Submit your stories straight to our Tumblr and let the world know.
You see, I’m quite the nerd. When I first started dating my girlfriend, we went at it in my storage room. I then proceeded to have sex with her on top of my vintage Star Wars action figure collection. At that moment I felt like I shattered nerd stereotypes. But I also found out the packaging on the top layer of figures are now in less than mint condition :(
Me and my boyfriend were hanging out when things started getting hot and heavy. When I took my top off, he looked at me and exclaimed “Yay! Boobs!”… He’s 25…. I’m pretty sure his mind stopped at 14…. It’s justified with his love of comic books!
Ironic how my ex girlfriend was the one who taught me how to sell things on eBay considering everything she bought me is now up for auction.