Proof That Everything is Shitty in It’s First Draft [Click for more]
They say the best writing is rewriting, and that really couldn’t be more true for some of history’s (and pop culture’s) greatest works. PaulLaudiero over at ShitRoughDrafts.com happened to get a hold of a BUNCH of these (OK he made them up), and now we have a peek into the infant versions of famous pieces. If at first you don’t succeed, write, write again. Right? Right.
Especially on the treacherous Forest Moon of Endor roads.
Incredible production value.
This hit #1 on the Tattoine charts.
Does meesa have to accept Jar Jar Binks friend request?
Ugh, this means buying so many tickets in advance.
May the safety be first.
Chewbacca and R2D2 were traitors.
I kind of wanted to include this as a treat to myself, just to imagine the spike in blood pressure from nerds once again seeing Star Wars labeled as a kids movie. Which it is. Am I kidding? Do you have toys? I digress. Some dopes out there find it hard to accept that maybe some stories are just… pretty straightforward. In their mind, R2D2 is a spy who avoids getting his memory deleted and purposefully manipulates everyone around him to avoid getting captured and help the Rebels. He often does so by communicating with “fellow super spy” Chewbacca, who uses stupid ol’ Han Solo, a mere puppet of a pilot, to do his every nefarious bidding. Let’s slow down for a second. Star Wars is pretty much the oldest tale in the book, a prototypical hero’s journey. There are good guys and there are bad guys. There are some twists and turns, of course, but this is not Dostoevsky. Chewy is a big furry thing, R2D2 is a little beepy thing. They do stuff, kids enjoy them, shut up. Keep Reading
Help Me Puggie Wan Kenobi, You’re My Only Hope [Click to animate]
Hurry he needs help seeing.
1. Willy Wonka is a cannibalistic murderer.
Granted: Wonka is a total creep, if not a psychopath. But some on the internet think that in the world of Wonka’s chocolate factory, a secret candy recipe + shockingly easy child injury and possible death (i.e. the Augustus Gloop-sucking tube) = kid-candy. Wouldn’t that make it taste a bit funky? Thick? Stringy? Regardless, the argument loses some credibility around the point this FanTheories Wiki editor says he’s “not trying to be racist here [about Oompa Loompas], but cannibalism in Africa isn’t the rarest of things.” Sounds to me like he’s just using his pure, bigoted imagination. Keep Reading