The techniques in this article have all been successfully tested and implemented by the author in a real workplace environment. Still, it should be noted that some techniques, particularly those rated “ADVANCED” may be hazardous to an amateur and can result in loss of balance and/or employment.
LEVEL ONE: BEGINNER
This one is a classic: Pack yourself a sandwich for lunch and eat it at your desk while pretending to work. Then, tell your supervisor that you’re going to “take lunch” and go take a 30-minute nap in the closest public park, bank lobby seating area, or bus depot.
Sure, you won’t be able to lie down, but you’ll have the privacy of your own stall. Sit down, drop trow (to fool any nosy co-workers who might peer beneath the door), rest your arms and head on your legs, and catch some Z’s. Your boss is unlikely to ask why you’ve been in the bathroom for so long, lest you reveal the gruesome details of your digestive system. If someone does press you on the matter, tell them you think the break room coffee was poisoned and instigate a week-long witchhunt. Spend most of that week sleeping on the toilet.
Move on to LEVEL TWO: INTERMEDIATE