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Interior: Giant Shower With Unfrosted Glass On All Four Sides Somehow.ANASTASIA STEELE, a busty half-Asian Student / Journalist / Cop-Scientist is showering for five and a half minutes while the Opening Credits Roll. Royalty-free cool-Jazz background music is playing, indicating that something SEXY is happening in 1997 or you’re in the bathroom at a W Hotel.
ANASTASIA towels herself off and exits the bathroom. Her roommate KATE, a petite but busty blond 36-year-old college student is laying on her bed in a tight yellow cocktail dress, masturbating. KATE is startled.
 ANASTASIA

Hey there Kate. I see you’re having fun.

 KATE

What can I say, Ana, ever since I started dating Mike, I’m just too hot and bothered all the time, I just want everyone. And I mean… everyone.

KATE lovingly caresses ANA’s towel.
 ANASTASIA (Lovingly)

Lucky you. Ever since Dave and I broke up, I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever get touched again. Except by you, haha.

KATE

Fuck Dave. He was a shit.

ANA playfully pushes KATE’S hand away and they both laugh, then lock eyes. They caress their faces together. The mood turns erotic.
ANASTASIA

Before we do this, I have to tell you — I’ve only been with another woman one other time today.

 Finish reading If “50 Shades Of Grey” Were A Cinemax Movie

Interior: Giant Shower With Unfrosted Glass On All Four Sides Somehow.ANASTASIA STEELE, a busty half-Asian Student / Journalist / Cop-Scientist is showering for five and a half minutes while the Opening Credits Roll. Royalty-free cool-Jazz background music is playing, indicating that something SEXY is happening in 1997 or you’re in the bathroom at a W Hotel.

ANASTASIA towels herself off and exits the bathroom. Her roommate KATE, a petite but busty blond 36-year-old college student is laying on her bed in a tight yellow cocktail dress, masturbating. KATE is startled.

 ANASTASIA

Hey there Kate. I see you’re having fun.

 KATE

What can I say, Ana, ever since I started dating Mike, I’m just too hot and bothered all the time, I just want everyone. And I mean… everyone.

KATE lovingly caresses ANA’s towel.

 ANASTASIA (Lovingly)

Lucky you. Ever since Dave and I broke up, I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever get touched again. Except by you, haha.

KATE

Fuck Dave. He was a shit.

ANA playfully pushes KATE’S hand away and they both laugh, then lock eyes. They caress their faces together. The mood turns erotic.

ANASTASIA

Before we do this, I have to tell you — I’ve only been with another woman one other time today.

 Finish reading If “50 Shades Of Grey” Were A Cinemax Movie

Finish reading If Porn Had a Director’s Commentary

Cheat Codes for the Kim Kardashian iPhone Game
- At the load screen, tap the K Star six times in a row to skip right to being spotted by a Big Hollywood Agent who wants to make you a Big Hollywood Super Star.

- At the character select screen, swipe down, then left, then left again to gain 5000 Social Media points and a write-up on a some blog calling you an “Instagram Celeb.”

-  Tap the Hollywood sign twelve times to up your Star Rating by fucking a photographer at the Torque premiere.

- When talking to the VALET PARKING GUY outside Kim’s perfume launch party, TIP TRIPLE to get four free Speedballs and an exclusive invite to McG’s forty-fifth at his Venice fuckpad.

- When Jake (the Journalist) asks you out, instead of tapping “Sure!” or “Let’s just be friends”, scroll left, then right, then left, then right, then up, then down to gain 100 Love Points and instead get martinis with Chez, a guy who “did some consulting on SAW VI” and “can definitely get you your own reality show, hundo percent.”
          BONUS: To up your Star Rating, sign whatever he hands you. That way you can skip all the hard shit.

- When out shopping with Kim, shoplift. It saves Money and increases your Style Points. Plus, whatever, it’ll be fine.
Finish reading Cheat Codes for the Kim Kardashian iPhone Game

Cheat Codes for the Kim Kardashian iPhone Game

- At the load screen, tap the K Star six times in a row to skip right to being spotted by a Big Hollywood Agent who wants to make you a Big Hollywood Super Star.



- At the character select screen, swipe down, then left, then left again to gain 5000 Social Media points and a write-up on a some blog calling you an “Instagram Celeb.”



-  Tap the Hollywood sign twelve times to up your Star Rating by fucking a photographer at the Torque premiere.



- When talking to the VALET PARKING GUY outside Kim’s perfume launch party, TIP TRIPLE to get four free Speedballs and an exclusive invite to McG’s forty-fifth at his Venice fuckpad.



- When Jake (the Journalist) asks you out, instead of tapping “Sure!” or “Let’s just be friends”, scroll left, then right, then left, then right, then up, then down to gain 100 Love Points and instead get martinis with Chez, a guy who “did some consulting on SAW VI” and “can definitely get you your own reality show, hundo percent.”

          BONUS: To up your Star Rating, sign whatever he hands you. That way you can skip all the hard shit.



- When out shopping with Kim, shoplift. It saves Money and increases your Style Points. Plus, whatever, it’ll be fine.

Finish reading Cheat Codes for the Kim Kardashian iPhone Game

Here are five uncomfortable examples of chemistry between two actors that clearly was NOT meant to be part of the plot: 

5. The Hunger Games: Katniss and Cinna

Finish reading The 5 Creepiest Examples of Sexual Tension Between Characters

5 Awkward Sex Moments That Never Happen in Movies
I guess I’ll wipe my dick off now…

5 Awkward Sex Moments That Never Happen in Movies

I guess I’ll wipe my dick off now…

(Source: College Humor)

Finish reading Why Catcalling Isn’t Always a Bad Thing

1. CHARITEASE.ORG

Each video features a ‘donate’ button so that you can help your favorite actors escape from their sordid life of digital deviancy.

Finish reading the 7 Porn Sites We Wish Existed

When the lovemaking noises emitting from a neighbor’s bedroom sound like a goat exorcism taking place inside a bedspring factory, it’s time to take action.  Option A.) Light some candles, hold a glass to the wall and make a night of it. Option B.) Crawl into the fetal position with a pillow and cry because you are alone. (Just let your mother set you up already, it shouldn’t be that big a deal!) Option C.) Write a hilarious note for all the apartment building and later the internet to enjoy. 

These people wisely chose Option C

Love thy neighbor notes.

Finish reading 14 Notes Calling Out Neighbors On Their Loud Sex

Some insane tips that will take your game to another world.
10 Ways to Drive a Girl CRAZY in the Bedroom

Some insane tips that will take your game to another world.

10 Ways to Drive a Girl CRAZY in the Bedroom

A supernatural ability to make things bigger? Don’t mind if I do.

Finish reading 11 Superpowers That Would Just Be Used For Sex

Why Blowjobs Are More Intimate Than Sex

For as long as we’ve been comparing sex to baseball, blowjobs have been third base and sex a home run. Here’s a compelling argument for why it should be the other way around.

If Game of Thrones Characters Had LuLu Accounts

The men of Game of Thrones signed up for LuLu to see how girls from the seven kingdoms are rating them across sex, style, humor and dating.

Guys can now sign up for LuLu to check out the kind of feedback the girls in their lives are leaving them

A supernatural ability to make things bigger? Don’t mind if I do.

Finish reading 11 Superpowers That Would Just Be Used For Sex

Open Season - The Rules (S1 Ep. 3)

After giving Eddie permission to sleep with other women, Andi decides to set some ground rules for their 30 day experiment.

Episodes 1 & 2