"I eat at the chillest restaurants, hang out with the hottest guys and yet I don’t have swag."
Jake and Amir: Swag [Click to watch]
Hashtag it’ll make sense when you see it.
Sorry J. Biebs, looks like you took the piss on this one.
Last week Justin Bieber elicited a global groan when TMZ leaked a video of him pissing into a restaurant’s mop bucket, spraying windex on a photo of Bill Clinton while yelling “Fuck Bill Clinton!” and then celebrating by running around with his fellow hooligans yelling “Wild Kidz!” which the internet somehow immediately knew was spelled with a “z.”
The whole thing was truly cringe-worthy but perhaps more than anything it was the cries of “Wild Kidz” that drew the most gut-wrenching third-party embarrassment. Like a made-up slogan for the kind of juvenile gang six-year-olds like to imagine themselves in, “Wild Kidz” was a window into the bizarre psychology of arrested development writ large: It embodied what happens when you get too rich too fast, too young.
But being “Wild Kidz” means knowing no shame. Biebs’ fellow bucket-pisser Lil Twist had floated the idea of a Wild Kidz clothing line on Instagram. Amazingly, his followers loved it
But hilariously, someone totally scooped Bieber and Lil Twist on their own clothing line. By Friday the site wildkidzclothing.com was already live and accepting pre-orders for shirts that rip on the Wild Kidz. “All products are designed, manufactured, and screen-printed in the United States to ensure the highest quality and maximum swag,” the site says. There’s the “Wild Kidz Rule #1″ shirt which proclaims, “Don’t let no one tell you what to do” and “Rule #2: Swag: some kidz are just born with it.”
An anonymous source behind the site was reached for this article but declined to comment further beyond these words: “#SWAG #WILDKIDZ.”
Which is odd, since all he wanted was a big booty ho.
He’s got baby swag and a platinum bottle, boobies in his face and makes the ladies holla.
“One Friday night I was at a street dance with my crush and needless to say I was a little drunk. I was talking with her waiting for some friends to show up and out of nowhere I grabbed her, pulled her close, kissed her passionately in the middle of a crowd, and then winked and walked away. She said it was the smoothest most romantic thing anyones ever done to her. Best part about it? I didn’t even know I did it until she told me the next day. Ive got more swag blacked out than i do sober.”
It’s more than just a bicycle, it’s a lifestyle—and a bicycle.
(Source: College Humor)