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1. I would totally win that ——- contest, if I weren’t ——-.
A. wet t-shirt contest . . such a dedicated nudist
B. spelling . . flarg
C. meditation . . so damn angry
D. unicorn riding . . hallucinating
E. three-legged race . . a squid

SAT Questions That I Wish I Had Gotten Right Before Going to College


1.) Dude, be careful hitting on that ——- girl Jessica, because I totally ——- her last semester.
A. crazy . . got stalked by
B. depressed . . used her low self-esteem to take advantage of
C. underage . . legally adopted
D. pregnant . . put a baby in
E. zombie . . killed

2.) You don’t have to worry about ——- in your dorm room, as long as you ——- the RA.
A. getting’ freaky . . make a video of it for
B. practicing Satanism . . sacrifice a virgin to
C. distilling alcohol . . kidnap, and then disguise yourself as
D. allowing illegal immigrants to run a sweat shop . . give free textiles to
E. murder . . murder

3.) That professor is a real ——- and he totally ——- that midterm.
A. downer . . was writing a suicide note during
B. hero . . deserves to be knighted for
C. sex offender . . had sex with me on top of
D. big fan of child labor . . made Taiwanese six-year-olds grade
E. water buffalo . . blew my mind when he used his hoofs to distribute

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(Source: College Humor)