Tips for hurricane preparation
1. Fill a bathtub with water
2. Gather candles, matches and non-perishable goods
3. Bitch about everything
Angry Grandpa Reacts to Rebecca Black’s Friday
He makes some good points.
Drunk Guy Hates ‘Do Not Attempt’ Warnings
“That’s their way of telling you don’t try. Don’t Dream. DON’T ANYTHING.”
(Source: youtube.com)
The Gentlemen’s Rant - Graduation
Now throw off your cap and hope you’re not balding.
Mark Wahlberg 9/11 Interview Excerpts
“If I had a fist big enough to punch God, their wouldn’t be evil in the world”
(Source: College Humor)
CollegeHumor Staff Holiday Rants
Since the early 1800’s, we have gone from horse-drawn carriages to walking on the moon; from dying of the flu to living into our 120’s; from not understanding what air is to having the accumulated knowledge of mankind’s entire history easily accessible on a device we carry in our pockets. Yet, still we wrap gifts the same way. All of its complicated folds and annoying habit of ripping at every corner have made wrapping paper a thorn in my side since I started using to cover up the shitty drawings I made to give to my parents. My family uses aluminum foil as an alternative, but that magical material has its own limitations. Making your Christmas look white trash, for instance. Can we not just have one scientist take one hour of his or her afternoon to come up with a better wrapping paper?
-Streeter Seidell
(Source: College Humor)
Holiday Rants from the CollegeHumor Staff
Who decided that peppermint chocolate and pumpkin pie were holiday flavors? That’s a load of horsefeathers! Those are great flavors. I should be able to enjoy them all year round. Pumpkin muffins shouldn’t be a two-months-leading-up-to-Thanksgiving treat. Pecan pie shouldn’t only show up after Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners. It barely has any seasonal ingredients. It’s basically congealed sugar butter. Congealed sugar butter pie should be an all-year round food. We need to rise up as a society and take back holiday foods. All foods should be whole-year foods. People shouldn’t think I’m weird if I want to enjoy a frosty glass of egg nog in July. Well, I guess that one would be kind of weird.
-Kevin Corrigan
(Source: College Humor)
Epic Religious Facebook Rant Against Dude Wanting to Watch “Dexter”
“Why would you fill your head with such wicked ideology that tries to make a murder a killer. BURN THOSE DVDS.”
(Source: College Humor)
Rainbows and Sperrys Suck Rant
I’m sure their lawyers are shaking in their inadequately broken-in boots
(Source: College Humor)
The original Justin Bieber is NOT Amused to be Sharing a Name with the Pop Star (Click for larger)
He was like “baby, baby, baby, oooh,” which is why he his now in prison.
(Source: College Humor)
