“Hey remember when I asked you if you had seen my digitial camera and you said no. Well I found it in your room. So remember when school ended and you asked me if I had seen your calculator, calculus book, as well as your engineering economics book, I sold them and actually got about $300 bucks for them all and that mysterious phone tip that the cops got about where you guys smoked pot at, it was me as well. Don’t light a fire you can’t put out.. DOUCHE”

“My friends and I are about 15 at this point and smoking pot because we live in the boonies with nothing to do. Turns out the guy in the apartment above us doesn’t care that we’re just kids and calls the cops on us. After we throw the pipe out the windows at the last second and spray the place down, completing the skunk pot smoke febreeze effect, cops come into my friends bedroom. Despite being incredibly stoned at that age I chatted with the cop for ten minutes about my track team events and adventures. Turns out he used to do track as well. So grabbed his partner from whatever he was doing elsewhere in the apartment and left, wishing me good luck at my next meet. Turns out, you can escape the police without running.”