How To Be A Perfect Employee In 5 Simple Graphs [Click for last 2]
You’ll be a CEO in no time at all.
If you could link up those monitors…. that’d be greeeeaaaaat.
"My what a big shank you have there." "The better to gum you with my dear."
3D technology is getting pretty amazing.
Welcome to Work Sucks, the column where you get to complain about your most terrible, lousy, soul-sucking jobs. In this issue, we’ve brought you more of the best of your worst work stories from the past year. If your job sucks even worse than this, submit your story at the bottom of this page.
I work at a nursing home. This one old lady got a new roomate who need oxygen on all the time. She asked one day what the noise was, referring to the oxygen machine, I told her what it was and she responded with “oh, that’s why I haven’t been feeling well lately, I am allergic to oxygen.” I didn’t even know how to respond to this.
I work in a restaurant and saw my boss use the grill scraper to clean shit off the floor. He then used it on the grill without cleaning it…in front of customers.
Customer walks up to customer service desk.
Me asking politely: “How can I help you, sir?”
C: “What do you think I want, a hamburger?!”
I work in a hardware store. My job is to answer customer questions, connect customers with employees from each department, supervise the cashiers, ring people up, answer phones, and do exchanges and returns.
Kinda shocked, but still polite, Me: “Umm…so a return?’
Glaring at me, C: “Yea”.
I quietly return his item.
Bluntly, C: “Call your manager.”
I call. My manager arrives, and he and the customer go outside the store and stand in front of my window. The customer complains about my service, all because I asked how I could help him.
Customer leaves and my manager walks back in.
Manager: “Can you believe that guy? He told me exactly what he said to you. Some people…”
I handle many complaints at the store, and most people that complain are just grumpy assholes, but few are stupid enough to tell the truth.
Work Sucks: Slapped By A Sweet Old Lady [Click for full post]
On weekends I volunteer at an old folk’s home. On my second day working there, I was greeted at the entrance by the friendly dog that belongs to the home. I walked in with in with him and noticed a sweet old woman in a wheelchair beckoning me over. I smiled and asked what I could do for her. She slapped me and said, “I told you not to bring dogs in the house, bitch.” Lesson Learned: Never judge a book by its cover. Because even a sweet looking old lady in a pastel pink sweater can slap you and call you a bitch.
- Becka S
I worked at a Baskin Robbins for a year, dealing with the shittiest owner ever. He constantly made me work 8+ hour shifts by myself without a break and broke several other labor laws. I never confronted him because money is money and I needed the job. Today I was fired because last Sunday, a day i had requested off, i was scheduled to open, but didn’t since it should have been covered. Well guess who just call got off the phone with BR headquaters, the health department, and the family lawyer regarding serveral health and labor law violations? Yeah, better lawyer up bitch.
Does work suck for you too? Submit your stories straight to our Tumblr and let the world know.
If work is ruining your life too then tell the world! Submit your story to our inbox and you could be published in the next issue.
I was in the office relaxing in a chair. I leaned my head back and thought to myself, “Wow, what a comfy headrest.” Then I realized, that chair didn’t have a headrest. I had been leaning head against my cute co-worker’s ass for 2 minutes and she never said a thing.
Today, I had to call the Australian Passport office to track my passport. Turns out they lost it in the mail. A week ago, I got my dream job as a flight attendant. Without a passport they won’t accept me. I lost my dream job before I even started it.
I just got fired for not working on my vacation.
In this issue, we’ve brought you more of the best of your worst work stories from the past year.
How to Get Hired By Seeming Like a Serial Killer [Click for more]
Welcome to Work Sucks, the column where you get to complain about your most terrible, lousy, soul-sucking jobs. In this issue, we’ve brought you more of the best of your worst work stories from the past year. If your job sucks too then submit your story to us on Tumblr and it might be featured in the next column.
I work for Comcast as an installer, one of my duties is disconnecting cable. I disconnected a guy on Superbowl Sunday right before the game, I could see his living room with a flat screen set up and cars lining the street for a party. A minute before kick off, I pulled the wire, before I could get down the pole, the guy comes out with a gun shooting at me. I got the hell out of there and called the cops. - Anonymous
So some kid kept on asking her mom to get her candy while I was at work today. When they came by to check out, the mom asked me, “You are so skinny. What do you eat usually?” I answered, “Spinach. Lots of spinach.” The look on her kid’s face was priceless. - Anonymous
I work at a restaurant where we pass out pagers when your food is ready. A mother and young boy ordered their food and the boy kept reaching up. The mother handed him the pager and said “He always enjoys playing with my vibrator.” My eyes got wide as I tried not to laugh. Then she said “uh I mean buzzer thingy” and made a bee line for the drink station. - Anonymous - Continue reading
How to Handle Your Hangover [Click to finish]
Gotta get through some way
Box Monster Attack Prank [Click to watch]
You’re only seven boxes away from being the funniest guy in the office.
Box Monster Attack Prank [Click to watch]
Nothing scarier than a stockroom and a creative person.
He’s kind of a must-hire.
Straight Outta Cretaceous.