Roommate Confessions: You Break My Snowboard, I Break You [Click for all]

Dearest Nik – remember our fun winter rooming together in that posh 2br/2ba apt? Well, I knew you were stealing my hard-earned cash out of my stashbox, using my make-up (thanks for the pink eye!), and throwing parties was I was working overnights and letting people sleep in my bed while I was gone for weekends. I also know you were the one who ‘took’ my ‘missing’ bank envelope with my $400 dollars I was going to buy a new snowboard bindings with. Just to let you know – I’m the one who broke out your tail light that night you were shitty drunk at the bar and got pulled over for it and ended up in jail, when you called, sobbing for me to come post your bail so you wouldn’t lose your job, I did have the $1500 bond, I just really didn’t feel like driving across town. Remember the many, many times you’d shut the dryer off and leave all my work clothes sopping wet, so I would be late for work? Well, I started peeing in your detergent, spitting in your foundation and letting my guy friends take your underwear. I also know you borrowed my $900 snowboard; it came back gouged the hell out of the bottom and sides, causing it to de-laminate and be ruined. Luckily for you, I WORKED AT THE SKIRESORT YOU WENT TO DUMBASS and I saw you with it that day, letting your tool boyfriend grind rails with it. Ever wonder what happened to your iPod, which I convinced you got stolen from your purse on one of your drinking binges? I pawned it. You still owe me…hm, around $1200, by the way bitch; and get a fucking job instead of stealing my money!
- Anonymous 

If you think you can top this then submit your sins to our inbox and you could be featured in the next issue.

What I’ve Always Wanted To Write On My Stupid Tax Forms [Click for full refund]

It’s tax day! The time of year when we all remember how far we actually are from being fully functioning adults. We get how money works, Uncle Sam! ”Buy low, sell high,” that’s MY motto! Here’s how a real boss handles taxes.

Savant Price is Right Fanatic Guesses on the Dot

Pretty certain he would have somehow aced Plinko as well.

(Source: youtube.com)

The 13 Most Convincing Tip Jars Ever [Click for more]

Here’s a tip: Don’t be cheap!

The Brutally Honest Restaurant Tip Calculator [Click for more]

Can we split this article up 4 ways? We all forgot to bring cash.

Angry Dad Hunts Easter Eggs Filled with His Own Money

Nothing wrong with some forceful Easter fun. 

(Source: youtube.com)

5 Potential After-College Jobs for Unskilled Graduates [Click for job description]

It’s hard to find a job after college. You’re applying here and there, and no one’s biting. But it’s not your fault. Employers are only looking at the skills you don’t have. The fact of the matter is the business landscape of today is already dated and you’re more suited for the job market of tomorrow. Apply your unique skill set in one of these in demand fields today!

The First Honest Cable Company

F*ck you. You’ll take what we give you.

(Source: youtube.com)

BearShark: Money [Click to watch]

Find out how to succeed in business without really eating too many people.

BearShark: Money

ABC: Always Be Chomping.

Money Weave

Dolla dolla bill bald.

(Source: reddit.com)

Twidiots Inquiry

Dear CollegeHumor, 

You recently posted an article featuring pulls from twitter in which people seem ornery and perplexed as to why the government wouldn’t simply print more money to solve our economic woes.  

Please tell me this was something your creative team made up and is not real.  The prospect of people being stupid enough to think that printing more money is a viable means of economic recovery deeply concerns me as a citizen of this country.  If people are smart enough to use new-age digital technology (ie, smart phones) to post their uneducated rants online yet lack the mental capacity to understand basic principles of economics, we are beyond fucked.

Sincerely, 

A man with waning hope for our future

6 Kickstarters from the People Who Usually Ask for Money [Click for more]

It’s definitely a project well worth backing.

6 Kickstarters from the People Who Usually Ask for Money 

They still want the same things. They’re just more organized about it

Twidiots: Let’s Just Print More Money 

In “Twidiots”, we collect the choicest thoughts on a particular topic from Twitter’s millions of users. Continue