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It’s National Coffee Day, but don’t talk to me until you’ve read this article.

Additional reading: The Unbreakable Coffee Cycle

(Source: College Humor)

Because you shouldn’t always follow your fart.
Now read:

Flowchart: Should You Get That Tattoo?
Flowchart: Are You Over Your Breakup?
Flowchart: Do You Have Time To Masturbate?

Because you shouldn’t always follow your fart.

Now read:

Flowchart: Should You Get That Tattoo?

Flowchart: Are You Over Your Breakup?

Flowchart: Do You Have Time To Masturbate?

Bop It was into some really kinky shit.

(Source: youtube.com)

The Adventures of God

I

God: Noah, all the people of earth are sinners. You alone are righteous.

Noah: Thanks God. Long time fan, first time prophet.

God: So, I have decided to smite the entire world with a flood.

(pause)

Noah: Couldn’t you just teach man goodness?

God: No. I’m thinking “flood.”

Noah: So you’d rather just kill every-

God: What part of “flood” do you not understand?

II

God: Moses…I have seen the plight of the Jews in Egypt.

Moses: Wow. Only after, uh, 400 years there, right?

God: Yes.

Moses: Awesome.

God: I will take you out of Egypt after ten terrible, terrible plagues.

Moses: …ten?

God: Is there a problem?

Moses: It’s just…ten is a lot. For, you know, God. Couldn’t you get this done in like, two plagues max?

God: No. For you see, Moses, I will harden Pharaoh’s heart against me.

Moses: So…you are going to stop him from letting us free from slavery.

God: Yes.

Moses: So you can bring more terrible, terrible plagues upon the people.

God: Yes.

Moses: And you see nothing wrong with this picture?

God: … 

Moses: Are there any other Gods up there I can talk to?



III

Mary: Did you send the child support?

God: Frankincense and myrrh. Yeah.

Mary  Annnnnd?

God: (sighs). And gold. And the gold.

Mary: That’s better.



IV

Job: …

God: Well, this is awkward.



V

God: Abraham, you must circumcise yourself.

Abraham: As you wish, my lord.

God: Oh my Me. He’s totally going to do it.

Watch —> The Tetris God

(Source: College Humor)

Watch —> Teenage Teenage Teenage Turtles
More original videos on Dorkly.com


Watch —>
Teenage Teenage Teenage Turtles

More original videos on Dorkly.com

Eyes are the window to the soul. The terrifying soul.

Finish watching —> 8 Normal Activities Made Creepy With Eye Contact

My roommate is a total Jafar.

Finish reading —> The 7 Disney Villains That You’ll Meet In Your Everyday Life

I’m sorry, your pets are idiots.
9 Adorably Silly Pets Who Are Literally Scared Of Produce

I’m sorry, your pets are idiots.

9 Adorably Silly Pets Who Are Literally Scared Of Produce

CollegeHumor's Favorite Funny Videos

jakeandamir:

Copier

Amir is the butt of every joke.

An app called “Shame” that emails you at the end of the day how often you loaded Instagram, FB, & Twitter. If its over X it’ll post online.

collegehumor2:

PussyFace: Super Villain Extraordinaire

Cat got your gun?

1 of 8 SPANKING new videos on our brand new YouTube channel CH2

Which one is your favorite? 

It might be a good thing these animals don’t exist… for the internet’s sake.

Watch 8 Animal Hybrids That Would Break the Internet

In honor of the 20th Anniversary of Friends, take the only Friends Quiz that TRULY matters.

Start —> QUIZ: Which Friends Hangout Spot Are You???

collegehumor2:

CollegeHumor is teaming up with the funniest, freshest, and not too busy-est people on the internet for a new YouTube channel that’s… well THIS! Sketches, animation, music videos. Comedy, funny, hilarious, haha. Like CollegeHumor, but weirder.

We already have 9 videos uploaded to the channel so let us know what you think. 

Check out the new trailer for CollegeHumor’s newer, weirder, channel featuring content from our friends in the comedy community!

(Source: youtube.com)

Can you tell which of these were read by children on laptops and which of them were read by slightly smarter children on walls?

Start —> QUIZ: Justin Bieber Tweet or Kindergarten Classroom Poster?