1) Pause your tv before the moment you want to record.
2) Stand WAY too close to your tv. Like, RIGHT there.
3) Turn the volume way down.
4) Take out your phone and hold it at a 28 degree angle to the tv instead of just straight.
5) Adjust the focus until everything’s too bright to see.
6) Run a vacuum cleaner.
7) Hit “Record” on your phone a full 8-10 seconds before you start the actual clip.
8) Vigorously shake your phone throughout the clip. This will make the clip cool.
9) Laugh loudly throughout the clip into your phone.
10) Stop the clip at a random, jarring time before it’s finished.
11) Upload to Youtube and title it something unfindable.
12) Congrats! You are now literally Martin Scorsese.
If you did everything correctly, your clip SHOULD look like this.
1. The URL Is Actually will.i.am - As if to reinforce that will.i.am is first and foremost dedicated to the ideal that clever marketing tactics should always take precedent over any discernible substance.
The 8 Most Insane Things About will.i.am (The Website) [Finish me off]
1. Beer is about 95% water. Why be a pussy, just drink the full 100%
2. Your body is about 60% water. So when you drink water, it’s like drinking yourself. That’s cannibalism. Cannibalism is way more hardcore than drinking beer. If you really want to be cool drink water.
3. It’s cheaper.
4. If you spend your life believing that water is as good as beer, than you’d be living in a world where beer rains from the sky. That’s a really cool world.
5. Drowning, Contamination, Hyponatremia. Water causes a lot more deaths than beer, and is far more awesome and dangerous. If you die drinking beer - you’re a nerd.
6. Waters have sharks in them!
7. They talk about how water got made in the bible - the most famous book ever. That’s way cooler than that lame Guinness factory tour.
8. Women at work would be more impressed by seeing you replacing a heavy water jug, than seeing you hiccup, drunk, at your desk.
9. People have sex in water. People on Game of Thrones have sex in water!
10. Water is so tough, it breaks out of pregnant women’s uteri. 5 MORE reasons.
A comprehensive guide to 10 stock movie moments that are always a WAY bigger deal in movies than they ever are in real life.
2 MORE Reasons Being a College Student is Just Like Being Old [Click to finish]