You should really see this kid’s good riting.
He doesn’t know when you are sleeping or when you’re awake because HE’S NOT REAL!
"When did we win the lottery?"
When you were seven you had never seen more than forty-five dollars in one place, so the thought that you’d spend that much money on a gift for one person is earth shattering. Do you know how much lemonade you’d have to sell in December to acquire that amount of wealth? Yes, you’re an adult who can do math. When you were seven you could get away with giving mom something you made in art class, but now you have some means of income so a “push pot” just isn’t going to cut it.
(Source: College Humor)
"I will return to you, my love."
Seasons may change. But teenage boys do not.
This guide will help you prepare for the transition from barely-functioning man child to barely-functioning man child with a baby sitting on his shoulders.
Throwing Your Niece/Nephew Around
The appropriate way for an uncle to greet a niece or nephew is to pick them up and throw them like an Italian stereotype throwing around some pizza dough. With luck your niece or nephew will forever associate you with the euphoric feeling of flying. You may be concerned that tossing them around may make them uncontrollably excited, and unable to sleep. Don’t worry! This will be your sibling’s problem. Here are the three tossing techniques most recommended by top uncles.
The Lion King
The Problem Child
So You’re Going to Be an Uncle [Click to start reading]
Make love, not whore.
Hold up, my eyes need a diaper change.