“My housemate just asked me how much a new printer would cost. She already owns one. The reason she wanted to upgrade? Her old one ran out of black ink…”
If he wanted to turn his hair orange, he could have just sold his soul.
“I work as a manager at a well known Italian restaurant. A woman complained about her steak and demanded a free meal. I asked what the problem was and she said the steak was too bloody and under-cooked. I asked how she wanted it and she said ‘rare’. I told her that’s what a rare steak was and she promptly told me she had only heard people in restaurants order steaks ‘rare’ and thought it meant that the steaks were “hard to find”.”
Nothing like a broomstick to the balls.
"How else can I let people know I’m about to die?"
Pfft, now he’s only sort of a physical specimen.
“My boss just asked if it was OK to shred colored paper”
The water might be free, but looking like an idiot is priceless
“Just recently, my dad found out that he can check his Yahoo mail account from any computer, not just the one at work. He actually drove ten miles every time he needed to check his email outside of work hours, which was relatively often.”