1. Cars: Cars can’t talk. This is supposed to be a heartwarming tale about a cocky protagonist learning what really matters in life, right? Too bad the audience is COMPLETELY unable to focus on this aspect because, oh yeah, all of the characters are CARS, but they all somehow manage to speak PERFECT ENGLISH! I tried talking to MY car in English once, and all it did was sit there silently and remind me how LONELY I am!
2. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone: Magic isn’t real. This movie starts out great when it looks like it’s going to be about how to ostracize people who are weird and small. But then, all of a sudden, it turns out that the wimpy kid with glasses has MAGIC POWERS! Oh, wow, totally believable, except that MAGIC DOESN’T EXIST! I’ve known this ever since a magician came to my sixth birthday party and said he was going to pull a rabbit out of a hat but wound up just having sex with my mom.
3. The Fox and the Hound: In real life, it is impossible to overcome differences. I haven’t spoken to my brother in TEN YEARS because he thinks Paul McCartney is more talented than John Lennon, but I’m supposed to believe that a fox and a hound will IGNORE the roles society has already laid out for them and become FRIENDS? No way. Also, I REALLY MISS my brother.
4. Rookie of the Year: The Cubs are terrible. Seriously, have you seen their record this year? It’s pathetic.
1 MORE HUGE Plot Hole in a Classic Children’s Films [Click to read]
The Return of the King is an awesome movie. But, if you watch it again, you’ll notice that there are roughly seven different times where the movie could have comfortably ended, and then another ending scene is tacked on. You can argue the value of most of these unnecessary scenes, but not the part when Frodo wakes up in the enormous bed and then everyone comes in to excitedly greet him and have lots of weird slow laughter and creepy soft light that makes everybody look like cherub figurines. It’s embarrassing to watch.
See what the 6 other movies are.
(Source: College Humor)
Harry Potter PSAs [Click for 12 more]
Today is Harry’s birthday. Happy birthday Harry. You are a slightly above average wizard by wizard standards. Hermione is really the star of the book and you just leeched off her knowledge without due gratitude.
Sidenote: You’re awesome from a muggle’s point of view, like my own.
J.K. Rowling’s Deleted Harry Potter Character [Keep reading]
Celebrate Harry Potter’s birthday by remembering deleted character Kenny Nesbit. Or check out other Harry Potter-related content here.
Voldemort actually looking a little better. Neville Longbottom looking considerably better.
Actors Laughing Between Takes [Click for more]
Newsflash: this “movie” stuff isn’t actually real. So let’s cut these actors some slack. We can’t all be Brando.
Bleep Bloop: Harry Potter Wonderbook [Click to watch]
Not to call anybody out but that’s a real Slytherin move right there.
J.K. Rowling and Playstation team up to fix reading.
Proof That Everything is Shitty in It’s First Draft [Click for more]
They say the best writing is rewriting, and that really couldn’t be more true for some of history’s (and pop culture’s) greatest works. PaulLaudiero over at ShitRoughDrafts.com happened to get a hold of a BUNCH of these (OK he made them up), and now we have a peek into the infant versions of famous pieces. If at first you don’t succeed, write, write again. Right? Right.
Whatchu know bout adding up Harry Potter characters?
Accio drawing ability.
His acting unites cultures and defines a generation. This man actually becomes his work. See his full body of work here & below.
And my mom tried to tell me Harry Potter was FICTIONAL.