Obituaries for Video Game Characters I have Played Recently [Click for more]
Excerpts from my John Boehner Cross-Over Fan Fiction [Click to continue reading]
Speaker John Boehner wasn’t going down without the last word. “I’m afraid we’ve got more Covenant on the way,” buzzed the Cortana AI. The Master Chief was already on it, jumping into the swarm of Brutes with his rifle blazing white-hot. An Elite made the charge toward Boehner, but the Ohio public servant’s impressive torso – sculpted on the Moeller High Football Field – deflected every attack before unleashing an assault of his own with the Springfield Rifle it was his God-given right to carry.
“Thanks for the assist,” quipped the stoic Spartan as he and Boehner mentally fist-bumped. Cortana quickly cut in, “No time to rest boys, we’ve got to reach the United Nations Space Command before…” Boehner held up his hand with a well-earned air of authority, “The UN!? You seriously put the United Nations in charge of the space army?” The silence said it all.
“Aliens are not the problem here! The only real way to save humanity is to reduce this bloated space government and its uncontrollable, unsustainable spaceship spending.” The Master Chief looked deep into Boehner’s eyes, sensing both the conviction and righteousness of his fellow super human’s cause. The chief reloaded his shotgun. “It’s time to put our fiscal house in order.” [Keep Reading]
HUMOR US - Staff Jokes [Click for full list]
First person to find the Orange Tree gets a complimentary glass of milk.
Finally, a The Wanted video for the unwanted
That’s what makes you Master Chief.
If you’re looking for the best 2 minutes of E3, that nerd made me delete the video of me giving him a swirly.
Hopefully, Jay Leno doesn’t hear about this before they put the game out.
I’m 19, and have never been in any sort of sexual relationship. Life is fine. I bring this up not to gain sympathy, but to show all the Tweens reading these that not everyone is having sex in college. There are many alternatives. Like skyrim. Or halo.
(Source: College Humor)