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THIS SUMMER’S GONNA BE ALL ABOUT SURF, SAND, AND SHAKY PLOT STRUCTURE.

Finish reading More Accurate Titles for This Summer’s Movies

Jake and Amir: Horoscopes

Your wish is your command.

Finish reading Why Catcalling Isn’t Always a Bad Thing

SWEET MOTHER OF GOD! There’s a cockroach in your house!

I don’t know what vengeful deity you’ve offended to deserve this fate, but now you have to deal with it!

WHAT WILL YOU DO?

1. Panic.

2. Invite your neighbor over, then have him kill it.

3. Muster your courage and kill it yourself.

4. Move out of your house.

Click to listen & watch 10 Gifs That Sync Up Perfectly With the Bee Gee’s Stayin’ Alive

QUIZ: Game of Thrones Scene or Creed Music Video?

QUIZ: Game of Thrones Scene or Creed Music Video?

The “Turn Down For What” Video Without Music Is… Freaky.

10 Things That Still Bother Me About 10 Things I Hate About You

1. There’s One Shakespeare Quote in the First 10 Minutes and Then Never Again

We all know that the movie is based on The Taming of the Shrew, but in case we didn’t, Cameron helpfully reminds us by seeing Bianca and going, “I burn, I pine, I perish,” which is a totally normal thing to say in a 90s high school environment. It’s also a direct quote from the original play, which kinda makes you think there are going to be a couple more quotes scattered throughout. Nope! Just that one random line! And then never again! Okay!

(P.S. Yes, Michael does say more stuff like “assail your ears” and “sweet love, renew thy force” but those are from Hamlet and Sonnet 56 so NICE TRY.)

2. The Whole Black Underwear Thing

Kat is branded a sex freak by sneaky snoops Bianca and Cameron when they find black underwear in her room, because apparently that means “she wants to have sex someday.” Sorry, what? Is Bianca saying she herself DOESN’T want to have sex someday? Like, EVER? Also, Kat is a senior in high school, which is a pretty normal age to think about the POSSIBILITY of SOMEDAY having sex. Also, maybe she just likes how she looks in black underwear. This whole scene was weird.

Finish reading 10 Things That Still Bother Me About 10 Things I Hate About You

What was going ON in that decade? Wouldn’t it be awesome if literally any of us could go back to 1982 and just instantly be more attractive than everyone and become revered movie stars / models / successful post-punk new-wave bands? And we’d get to rub elbows / have sex with the other most attractive people in the decade, namely Prince, Kelly LeBrock in the movie Weird Science, and that’s it! Just those two.

Finish reading 10 Dumb Things I’d Actually Use Time Travel For

There will be barf.

The 6 Most Annoying Drunk People at your Party

The Man. The Myth. The Amateur DJ.

Finish reading If Characters from Greek Mythology Existed Today

An Honest Tutorial on How to Shave Your Legs

Shaving your legs can get pretty hairy if you’re not careful.

8 Minor Movie Characters I Still Feel Really Bad For [Click for full post]
1. The Guy Who Gets Shot in The Hallway In “Terminator 2”
Terminator 2 was the first R-Rated movie I saw in the theaters, and as a child, I wasn’t tooscarred by the specific, graphic violence throughout the movie (certainly not to a Temple of Doom nightmare-inducing degree), but I always felt really really bad for this random sad dude walking around the back-hallways of the shopping mall who gets unceremoniously shot to death by the T-1000.Think about it: The guy is ALREADY a professional “behind-the-scenes mall worker,” which is friggin’ sad enough — the ONLY PERK of that boring dead-end life is that you don’t get remorselessly shot seven times for happening to be in the same hallway as two killer robots settling a future-war.
Honorable Mention: The chubby hospital security guard who gets stabbed through the eye. Equally sad, but also pretty bad-ass, and at least the T-1000 meant to kill him. To this day I still look over my shoulder every time I use a Keurig.
Finish reading 8 Minor Movie Characters I Still Feel Really Bad For

8 Minor Movie Characters I Still Feel Really Bad For [Click for full post]

1. The Guy Who Gets Shot in The Hallway In “Terminator 2”

Terminator 2 was the first R-Rated movie I saw in the theaters, and as a child, I wasn’t tooscarred by the specific, graphic violence throughout the movie (certainly not to a Temple of Doom nightmare-inducing degree), but I always felt really really bad for this random sad dude walking around the back-hallways of the shopping mall who gets unceremoniously shot to death by the T-1000.

Think about it: The guy is ALREADY a professional “behind-the-scenes mall worker,” which is friggin’ sad enough — the ONLY PERK of that boring dead-end life is that you 
don’t get remorselessly shot seven times for happening to be in the same hallway as two killer robots settling a future-war.

Honorable Mention: The chubby hospital security guard who gets stabbed through the eye. Equally sad, but also pretty bad-ass, and at least the T-1000 meant to kill him. To this day I still look over my shoulder every time I use a Keurig.

Finish reading 8 Minor Movie Characters I Still Feel Really Bad For

21 Signs You Spend Too Much Time on Your Phone
1. Your first thought upon seeing your new baby cousin for the very first time is “Valencia filter, no border.”
2. You plan your day around known charger locations.
3. You occasionally feel your thigh vibrate out of nowhere, so you’re pretty sure you know what phantom limb syndrome feels like.
4. You have tried to swipe open a book.
5. You judge people by the pattern on their iPhone case.
6. When your phone is dead, and someone asks you what the weather is like, your first instinct is to say “I don’t know” — rather than look outside or simply open the front door.
7. When you close your eyes, you see Candy Crush combos.
8. This year you have spent more time arbitrarily scrolling through your Camera Roll than you have reading a newspaper.
9. When you wake up in the morning, you check your Facebook notifications before you take a sip of water.
10. Books make you twitch with anxiety.
11. You have at least once made the conscious and reasoned decision that a trip to the bathroom without your phone is probably not worth it.
Finish reading 21 Signs You Spend Too Much Time on Your Phone

21 Signs You Spend Too Much Time on Your Phone

1. Your first thought upon seeing your new baby cousin for the very first time is “Valencia filter, no border.”

2. You plan your day around known charger locations.

3. You occasionally feel your thigh vibrate out of nowhere, so you’re pretty sure you know what phantom limb syndrome feels like.

4. You have tried to swipe open a book.

5. You judge people by the pattern on their iPhone case.

6. When your phone is dead, and someone asks you what the weather is like, your first instinct is to say “I don’t know” — rather than look outside or simply open the front door.

7. When you close your eyes, you see Candy Crush combos.

8. This year you have spent more time arbitrarily scrolling through your Camera Roll than you have reading a newspaper.

9. When you wake up in the morning, you check your Facebook notifications before you take a sip of water.

10. Books make you twitch with anxiety.

11. You have at least once made the conscious and reasoned decision that a trip to the bathroom without your phone is probably not worth it.

Finish reading 21 Signs You Spend Too Much Time on Your Phone

There will be barf

Finish reading The 6 Most Annoying Drunk People at your Party