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Why It Motivates You: Hopefully someone already explained this one to you a while ago…
How It Works: It’s like a normal alarm, only it’s shaped like your favorite erogenous zone, and instead of turning it off with a button you…like, do sex stuff with it…? Alright, I haven’t really worked all the kinks out of this one, but trust me, when I can figure out how to make it not disgusting, it will sell.
Finish reading —> 5 Alarm Clocks That Would Totally Motivate You to Get Up

Why It Motivates You: Hopefully someone already explained this one to you a while ago…

How It Works: It’s like a normal alarm, only it’s shaped like your favorite erogenous zone, and instead of turning it off with a button you…like, do sex stuff with it…? Alright, I haven’t really worked all the kinks out of this one, but trust me, when I can figure out how to make it not disgusting, it will sell.

Finish reading —> 5 Alarm Clocks That Would Totally Motivate You to Get Up

Who’s better: Dr. Oz or Dr. Dre?
Should You Trust That Doctor? Matrix [Click for full chart]

Who’s better: Dr. Oz or Dr. Dre?

Should You Trust That Doctor? Matrix [Click for full chart]

The club can’t even handle you right now! Because you’re literally taking a dump on the dance floor.

Finish —> 7 Cool Dance Moves to Get People to Stop Dancing With You

All the heart-pounding thrills you face every day.

Finish reading —> 5 Real Life Action Movie Posters

Adam and Eve were the ORIGINAL hipsters. 

Finish reading —> Three Readings from the Hipster Bible

watch some of the illustrator, Caldwell Tanner’s new YouTube channel —> The Drawfee Show

If Miyazaki Films Were Like Other Anime

HIS ARTISTIC MERIT IS OVER 9000!!!

Why It Motivates You: Though it mostly goes unsaid, perhaps the greatest thing motivating our lives is the knowledge that, one day, our lives will end. The average person will live for less than 30,000 days. Do you really want to waste the little time you have in bed?

How It Works: Bring the burning anxiety of your inevitable demise from the back of your mind to the front with an alarm that’s not so much an alarm as it is a lighter glued to clock, and placed near a pile of oily rags. Once that bad boy goes off, you’ll have mere moments to go and separate the two before the rags go up in flames, speeding up your march into oblivion. You’ll never think of the saying “You can sleep when you’re dead” the same way again.

Finish reading —> 5 Alarm Clocks That Would Totally Motivate You to Get Up

Who’s worse: Dr. Hannibal Lector or Zoidberg?
Should You Trust That Doctor? Matrix [Click for full chart]

Who’s worse: Dr. Hannibal Lector or Zoidberg?

Should You Trust That Doctor? Matrix [Click for full chart]

Do you think it’s only fair that there be a White History Month? Then we’ve got the soda for you!
Watch —> Kinda Racist? Try Diet Racism!

Do you think it’s only fair that there be a White History Month? Then we’ve got the soda for you!

Watch —> Kinda Racist? Try Diet Racism!

The Shining is a gripping, unique horror film that holds up extremely well and still looks incredible, but watching it now, one can’t help but notice that the famous climactic “Here’s Johnny!” line — which is also the DVD cover — ends up being a really minor part of the film’s explosive final sequence. The Jack character painstakingly axes his way through the bathroom door while his wife screams, then he sticks his face through the door, delivers the line, and instantly gets stabbed in the hand then hears someone at the front door and leaves.

It’s still a super-awesome and terrifying scene, it’s just slightly amusing how instantly-defeated he gets. Then he gets outsmarted by his son and freezes to death. It’s a pretty rough twenty minutes for that dude.

Finish reading 10 Famous Movie Moments That Were Actually Really Anticlimactic

Brazil's Mr. Balls Looks a Lot Like Jonah Hill »

I Think My Draw Something Partner Might Have Been Kidnapped

Go to CollegeHumor.com for funny, new original videos and articles everyday. 

Finish reading —> 6 Bar Games You Can Play with Just Your Smartphone

Why complain about people checking their phones when you could make a whole game out of it? Next time you’re at the bar, try these simple smartphone-based games to liven up even the most boring of bars.

Yes, I am prepared to be your hero.

Go to CollegeHumor.com for funny, new original videos and articles everyday. 

 

Time is DEFINITELY not on your side.
Finish reading —> This is Why You’re Late For Work Every Morning

Time is DEFINITELY not on your side.

Finish reading —> This is Why You’re Late For Work Every Morning