“You know your relationship is too comfortable when your boyfriend corrects your grammar whilst having sex.”

“It drives me up the fucking ceiling when people say that what you are studying in college has a low job market. Like what the fuck are you supposed to say back? “Well I guess I look dumb for spending thousands of dollars to one day end up flipping burgers.” FUCK THEM! Even if you are in fucking anything besides Liberal Arts programs there are still people who are like “good luck finding a job” I mean fuck, where do these people fucking come from? Now according to everyone who wants to be an asshole because they think their major is better than yours, they have a fucking right to tell me my life is going nowhere. Basically they are telling me I don’t have a right to do what the fuck I’ve dreamed of being when I was a fucking kid. Fuck this, I’m joining the army. If I die, I’ll die a hometown hero. If I live, then I’ll come home with a six pack, wicked awesome stories, and combat and weapon experience which will contribute to my survival in the zombie apocalypse.”