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8 Pickup Lines for College Freshmen

1. Hey girl, do you have a map? Because I have no idea where I am on campus.
 
2. Dang babe, are you my most recent Calc grade? Cuz I’d say you’re a 10 with a curve.
 
3. Honey, I might not be Fred Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed…smell like him.
 
4. Do you know CPR? Cause my BAC is higher than your GPA.

5. Daang gurl, I don’t know if it is you or this bag of popcorn I made at two in the morning, but something is smokin’
 
6. Is that butt a speeding ticket? Because I can’t even have a car on campus. 
 
7. If I had a nickel for every time I saw someone as pretty as you, it would still probably be better than my financial aid.
 
8 . Man, if bein’ sexy was against the law, then I would start working out just to spite my parents.

(Source: College Humor)

8 Pickup Lines for College Freshmen »
I’m Ra, your RA
Alright, everyone, thanks for coming to the first meeting for 2nd Floor McCullen Hall! Yay! I’m your RA. My name is Amun-Ra, but you can just call me Ra ‘cause I’m chill like that. Let’s break the ice with a little “Two Truths and a Lie.” We’ll say two true things about ourselves and one lie, and it’s up to you to guess which one is not true. Got it? Okay. 1) I brought forth everything in creation by saying its secret name, 2) I have a falcon for a head, and 3) I’m lactose intolerant. What do you guys think…Wrong! It’s the second one. I have a falcon’s HEAD for a head, not a whole falcon. That would look stupid. That’s also a lesson about language. We all need to be sure that we choose our words carefully and keep communication open. That way we’ll all avoid conflicts. Also, avoid using “angry” words like “stupid” in public spaces. That was my bad, there. But that’s also a lesson about me. Sometimes I make mistakes too. I’m a student just like you! I also just happen to have some administrative disciplinary powers, and the power of flight. And the power to create and destroy with a word.Now, we’re all living in the same space, so let’s try to respect each other, okay? When it’s late, keep the noise down. I know some of you are going to want to party, but some of us will be studying, or sleeping, or preventing a giant snake from devouring the sun, so just keep that in mind. Party smarter, not harder.You can also find a basket of condoms on my door. Those are for you guys. And they’re free. I’m not your dad, except in the abstract sense that I created all of you, and I don’t care who you’re shacking up with or whose lettuce you’re jizzing in to establish dominance over them. Just be safe. Safety can be cool! Finish reading

I’m Ra, your RA

Alright, everyone, thanks for coming to the first meeting for 2nd Floor McCullen Hall! Yay! I’m your RA. My name is Amun-Ra, but you can just call me Ra ‘cause I’m chill like that. Let’s break the ice with a little “Two Truths and a Lie.” We’ll say two true things about ourselves and one lie, and it’s up to you to guess which one is not true. Got it? Okay. 1) I brought forth everything in creation by saying its secret name, 2) I have a falcon for a head, and 3) I’m lactose intolerant. What do you guys think…

Wrong! It’s the second one. I have a falcon’s HEAD for a head, not a whole falcon. That would look stupid. That’s also a lesson about language. We all need to be sure that we choose our words carefully and keep communication open. That way we’ll all avoid conflicts. Also, avoid using “angry” words like “stupid” in public spaces. That was my bad, there. But that’s also a lesson about me. Sometimes I make mistakes too. I’m a student just like you! I also just happen to have some administrative disciplinary powers, and the power of flight. And the power to create and destroy with a word.

Now, we’re all living in the same space, so let’s try to respect each other, okay? When it’s late, keep the noise down. I know some of you are going to want to party, but some of us will be studying, or sleeping, or preventing a giant snake from devouring the sun, so just keep that in mind. Party smarter, not harder.

You can also find a basket of condoms on my door. Those are for you guys. And they’re free. I’m not your dad, except in the abstract sense that I created all of you, and I don’t care who you’re shacking up with or whose lettuce you’re jizzing in to establish dominance over them. Just be safe. Safety can be cool! Finish reading

Georgia Tech’s Nick Selby Just Delivered the Greatest Welcome Speech to Incoming Freshmen

He’s an engineer of dreams.

(Source: youtube.com)

Chronic Freshman Disorder

Silly commercial, freshmen don’t read books!

(Source: growingleaders.com)

The Six Colleges You’ll Visit [Click to continue reading]

The Six Colleges You’ll Visit [Click to continue reading]

Guy Messes with New Roommate on Facebook
Looks like it’s going to be a fun year for Willie’s roommate.

Guy Messes with New Roommate on Facebook

Looks like it’s going to be a fun year for Willie’s roommate.

Roommate Trolling Opportunity Not Missed
Looks like it’s going to be a fun year for Willie’s roommate.

Roommate Trolling Opportunity Not Missed

Looks like it’s going to be a fun year for Willie’s roommate.

Orientation Week Dos and Don’ts [Click to continue reading]

Orientation Week Dos and Don’ts [Click to continue reading]

Freshman With Massive Backpacks
You really need to bulk up before you try and sneak a full keg into class.

Freshman With Massive Backpacks

You really need to bulk up before you try and sneak a full keg into class.

(Source: College Humor)

20 Things You’ll Regret Doing in College

4. Inviting that Orientation Week friend home for Thanksgiving - When you’re young, three months might seem like a long time to have  known a person. The truth is, you don’t really know someone until they  have had the opportunity to make a complete and total fool of themselves  in front of your family. It doesn’t matter if it’s making eyes at your  younger sister, insulting your racist uncle who definitely had it coming  but agreed to drive you back to school, or leaving your toilet with the  tricky handle in such an unpleasant state that it reduced your mother,  who once worked in an emergency room, to tears, your guest will do  something to ruin the holiday. Something no one in your family will ever  forget or let you live down, even after the friendship is terminated.

Keep Reading

20 Things You’ll Regret Doing in College

4. Inviting that Orientation Week friend home for Thanksgiving - When you’re young, three months might seem like a long time to have known a person. The truth is, you don’t really know someone until they have had the opportunity to make a complete and total fool of themselves in front of your family. It doesn’t matter if it’s making eyes at your younger sister, insulting your racist uncle who definitely had it coming but agreed to drive you back to school, or leaving your toilet with the tricky handle in such an unpleasant state that it reduced your mother, who once worked in an emergency room, to tears, your guest will do something to ruin the holiday. Something no one in your family will ever forget or let you live down, even after the friendship is terminated.

Keep Reading

(Source: College Humor)

Predictions for This Year’s Freshmen - (Click to see rest)

Colleges  will always have freshmen, and freshmen will always find  increasingly  stupid ways to embarrass the rest of the campus. It’s the  circle of  collegiate life. As such, we’ve put together a series of  predictions to  help you better prepare yourself for this academic  onslaught of  inexperience.

Predictions for This Year’s Freshmen - (Click to see rest)

Colleges will always have freshmen, and freshmen will always find increasingly stupid ways to embarrass the rest of the campus. It’s the circle of collegiate life. As such, we’ve put together a series of predictions to help you better prepare yourself for this academic onslaught of inexperience.

(Source: College Humor)