Hopefully King George has his spam filter on
With NSA spying, drone strikes and war, America isn’t the shining beacon of hope it used to be. But it could be worse. We could be anywhere else. Leave it to country music to find a way to stay patriotic in these dark times.
Take this quiz and MAKE YOUR COUNTRY PROUD!!! Or very disappointed. Whichev!
WHAT: You know, the usual - super informal, super laidback, super safe, super cool about espionage charges, etc, etc
WHERE: Probably at Moscow International Airport (the seating area by Gate 16, Terminal A), or maybe the Arrival Lounge at Mariscal Sucre International Airport in Quito, Ecuador (basically wherever we can grill haha)
WHEN: All day, baby (or until there’s an “accident” and I get “kidnapped” haha jk I hope)
WHY: Because America is the best, most awesome, most forgiving country in the world and oh my fuck what have i done please have mercy
HOW: I did not think this far ahead shit
WHAT I WILL HAVE: Burgers, hot dogs, archives of highly classified, unbelievably sensitive information, iPod speakers, ketchup/mustard/what not, quickly fading confidence that I have done the right thing, Pop Chips, my memories
WHAT YOU SHOULD BRING: Booze, buns, relish, armed security, plastic cups, asylum, any music you might want to listen to, a time machine, fireworks if you’re into that, anything - literally ANYTHING - to stop this fucking mental hell I now live in
POST-BBQ PLANS: After we booze and chill for a while, we might head over to Iceland or something, depending on what you all/the international community is down for. If people want to head back to the US, that’s cool, I just might meet you guys later or something. Yeah. Cool. Later. Sounds good. Fuck.
RSVP: NO NEED BECAUSE IT SHOULD BE FREE AND OPEN WHETHER OR NOT YOU ATTEND PLEASE HELP ME I NEED HELP I JUST CRY ALL DAY
AIN’T NO PARTY LIKE A SNOWDAWG PARTY BECAUSE A SNOWDAWG PARTY DON’T BETRAY HIS COUNTRY
Tired of meat after all that 4th of July grilling? Of course you’re not. Meat is awesome. Not only is it delicious, but it inspires people to create these gustatory masterpieces.
(Source: College Humor)
(Source: College Humor)
Three cheers for the red, bloodstained white, and blue.
Hopefully King George has his spam filter on. Starring Mark Deklin, Jim O’Heir, and Thomas Ian Nicolas.
It’s no secret that Cable Access shows are a goldmine of awesome, Internet content. This patriotic jam from a Dallas show called “Joyful Praise” is particularly great.
Not only have we been listening to this rendition all morning, we’ve already tracked down where you can buy the vest and found the kid on Facebook. Now if you’ll excuse us, we need to get back to refreshing Facebook until he accepts our friend request.