This stem looks like a man stepping on a tomato
Finish reading —> 5 Self-Help Pamphlets For Your Super Easy Life
1. Eating a banana
3. Washing your hands
4. Putting on chapstick
5. Unzipping your hoodie
I’m sorry, your pets are idiots.
I will friggin’ DIE before I admit that TWO cities might have good tacos!
Yum yum yum, bite-sized food sure is cute.
Why It Motivates You: Not all motivators have to be negative. If our country’s ongoing obesity epidemic is any indicator, the prospect of having something tasty to munch on is one of the best way to get us up off our fat asses. Think about it. If you smelled bacon cooking from the next room over, would you ignore it? Of course not. You’d drop what you were doing and immediately go investigate it because that’s human nature.
How It Works: Though most of us aren’t lucky enough to have someone wake us up with the smell of sizzling bacon wafting from the kitchen, we are lucky enough to live in a golden age of food laziness, and have easy access to technologies that can easily approximate such a lovely scene. Using food delivery services like Seamless as a template, the food alarm would have you floating out of bed like you’re a cartoon dog that’s just gotten a whiff of a pie. Just place your order and the time you want to get up, and the next morning, a delivery man will greet you with a bag full of deliciousness, instantly transforming you into a morning person.
Finish reading —> 5 Alarm Clocks That Would Totally Motivate You to Get Up
Got a gift box of chocolates recently? Make sure you know what you’re really eating.
Be SLIGHTLY stressed out about not having enough time or money to eat a healthy lunch.
Construct a very elaborate rationalization about how you can probably just skip lunch today and be fine. Like, you eat three meals a day. You’re eating constantly. Your body probably has so much energy stored up that it won’t even notice if you skip a meal this ONE time.
Immediately regret this plan as soon as you catch even the faintest whiff of someone else’s lunch.
Think about having a snack.
Nah, you’re fine. Snacks are for weaklings.
Be very unproductive for two hours.
Well, okay. So maybe you’re a weakling. That’s fine! There’s no shame in that.
That snack was NOT enough. But if you have more food now, you’ll ruin your appetite for dinner and then throw your whole eating cycle into chaos.
Man, when did you become your mom?
Notice that every task you have to do feels much…harder than usual. Answering an email from a friend? Jesus Christ, who are you, a PUBLIC RELATIONS MOGUL?
Hmm. Weird. You’ve never noticed this before, but everyone you work with is sort of annoying.
Finish reading —> How to Drive Yourself Crazy by Skipping a Meal
This HR dept doesn’t negotiate with Terrorists.
Imagine a world where every product has the right to be decadent.
Finish reading If Everything Was Advertised Like Chocolate
5 different comics by 5 different illustrators.
Finish reading If The World Worked Like the Internet Thinks it Does
Slow Mo Prank Show!
Wendy Has Fallen on Some Hard Times