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Roommate Confessions: The Hypocrite 

Revenge is a dish best reheated in the microwave.

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(Source: College Humor)

My 2nd month into my freshman year of college I met this guy who was pretty cute and he came to visit me in my dorm. Come to find out he’s only had sex once 2 years ago. Which you know I’m alright with until he asked me to “hold it open”.

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(Source: College Humor)

The first time I had sex with my boyfriend, and after we were both done, I jumped off him to open the window to cool off and the first thing he said was, ‘That breeze is the best thing I’ve ever felt…’ Wow

Read more of this week’s Dating, It’s Complicated: Issue #128

(Source: College Humor)

It’s 3:30 am. I’m still awake because I’m trying to finish a French paper. My roommate and her boyfriend are still awake because they are playing Pokemon.

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Every now and then, when we’re having sex, my boyfriend will moan his own name and talk dirty to himself.

Roommate Confessions: December 12, 2011

My roommate Is a sloppy pig. All she does is make messes and sits in it. I do all the cleaning dishes and buy all the food. One day i got fed up with it, so when I bought a pizza, I took my slices then I scratched my head till a crap load of my dandruff was all over the rest of the pie. Hope you like the extra topping!

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(Source: College Humor)

Roommate Confessions: December 12, 2011

My friends in highschool thought itd be real funny to put a frozen road-killed skunk under my porch on Halloween night because I didnt feel like going out with them. My house was rank for about two months considering it took about three weeks to locate the source. One of their mom’s accidentally turned them in when asking why her van smelled like skunk. Paybacks a bitch. Hope you enjoyed the pack of fish I hid under your firebird seat while you were in class all day and it was 95 degrees outside.

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(Source: College Humor)

Troopers: Escape Pod Confessions

Larry has a few things to get off his chest.

So, prior to the one of the football games, they were passing out cologne samples, and, for some reason, I wound up with 12 or 13 of them. My buddies and I decided to concentrate all of these samples into a water bottle, dubbed the Bro-Bomb. After months of not knowing what to do with it, we finally dumped it into an annoying roommate’s air vent, and it has smelled bro-tastic ever since!

Read more Roommate Confessions

(Source: College Humor)

Roommate Confessions: November 21, 2011

My dad told me that when he went to college, there was a girl who was a real jerk and a snob to all of the people in the dorm. So when she went off for Christmas vacation, my dad and his friends caught a wild duck, and snuck into her room through the window. They left the duck there along with 2 loaves of bread (so the duck wouldn’t starve). When she came back, her room was covered in duck poo.

[Read more of this week’s best confessions]

(Source: College Humor)

Once, my roommate was bragging about going out on a date with this really hot girl. While he was out I went on Facebook. By the time he came back with her I had glued all of this girl’s Facebook photos all over our apartment.

The Way You Do Things in Public vs. in Private (click to see more)

(Source: College Humor)

Everytime after me and my wife have sex, I feel the need to shout, “Okay and dismount.” She laughs, but it has become a strange habit of ours now…

Read more Relationship Confessions at Dating, It’s Complicated: Issue 121

(Source: College Humor)