- Michelle Obama seen watering marijuana plants in the White House garden.
- Romney casually mentions that he’s seen the Kid Rock/Scott Stapp sex tape.
- Paul Ryan is actually named Ryan Paul, son of Ron Paul.
- Mitt Romney final releases his tax records revealing that he owns the southwestern chicken franchise Los Pollos Hermanos.
- While stumping for Obama, Bill Clinton gets his dick sucked again.
- Tagg Romney challenges Mitt to single combat and defeats him, thus becoming the Alpha Romney.


