![Puritan Valentine’s Day Cards [Click for more]
For the person who makes your heart tremble almost as much as The Lord does.](http://24.media.tumblr.com/1c2ed2739d0126fffea4c68309b0aecb/tumblr_mi6k1kQFLv1qasthro1_500.gif)
Puritan Valentine’s Day Cards [Click for more]
For the person who makes your heart tremble almost as much as The Lord does.
Valentine’s Day Video Cards [Click for more]
You shouldn’t have only watched the first half hour of No Strings Attached.
Have a Merry Christmas (as long as it’s not merrier than ours).
Please take one. I need to give away all of these while this song is still popular.
(Source: College Humor)
![TV Valentine’s Day Cards [click for more]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz58gbuTtI1qasthro1_500.jpg)
![Dad’s Magic Trick [click to pick a card]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyf2cwqWyA1qasthro1_500.jpg)
![The 8 Kinds of Christmas Cards
4. The Aggressively Religious One
I don’t know if it’s possible to save the soul of someone during the 15 seconds it takes to read a greeting card, but they’re certainly going try. Within this card’s peaceful exterior lies a barrage of religious quotes, information about Jesus and so very many prayers. Hey-when someone says they’re praying for you, do you have to pray back? Why do you need so many prayers in the first place? Maybe you like the life you’re living. I mean who needs Eternal salvation when you have Xbox Live? It’s like, stop judging me God. F*ck it, pass the egg nog.
[Keep Reading]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwkajqhyzY1qasthro1_500.jpg)
The 8 Kinds of Christmas Cards
4. The Aggressively Religious One
I don’t know if it’s possible to save the soul of someone during the 15 seconds it takes to read a greeting card, but they’re certainly going try. Within this card’s peaceful exterior lies a barrage of religious quotes, information about Jesus and so very many prayers. Hey-when someone says they’re praying for you, do you have to pray back? Why do you need so many prayers in the first place? Maybe you like the life you’re living. I mean who needs Eternal salvation when you have Xbox Live? It’s like, stop judging me God. F*ck it, pass the egg nog.
(Source: College Humor)
![The 8 Kinds of Christmas Cards
2. The Extensive Family Newsletter
A lot of things can happen over the course of a year and they’re going to share every single one of them with you. Promotions, vacations, and brief forays into taking a pottery class are described with thoroughness usually reserved for Faulkner novels. How many pages is this thing? Two pages is too many pages to feign interest in a 6th grader’s soccer season. And baby Katie’s favorite subject this year is math? Bullshit. Katie help set the table for Thanksgiving and that girl can’t count for shit.
[Keep Reading]](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lwkafov9ka1qasthro1_500.jpg)
The 8 Kinds of Christmas Cards
2. The Extensive Family Newsletter
A lot of things can happen over the course of a year and they’re going to share every single one of them with you. Promotions, vacations, and brief forays into taking a pottery class are described with thoroughness usually reserved for Faulkner novels. How many pages is this thing? Two pages is too many pages to feign interest in a 6th grader’s soccer season. And baby Katie’s favorite subject this year is math? Bullshit. Katie help set the table for Thanksgiving and that girl can’t count for shit.
(Source: College Humor)
Card to Tell People to Stop Talking
Perfect for any Jehovah’s Witness who happens to stop by for a chat.
(Source: College Humor)
Sweetest Day Holiday Card Section
Do we really need another Hallmark holiday? They already fooled us with Kwanzaa.
(Source: College Humor)
Distracted Family Christmas Card
“Kids, don’t forget to text Santa your Christmas list.”
(Source: College Humor)
