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jakeandamir:

Feminist

Equality is a pain in the ass.

Take her out for a nice dinner with a side of crippling anxiety.
Finish reading —> Why Women Have The Upper Hand On Dates

Take her out for a nice dinner with a side of crippling anxiety.

Finish reading —> Why Women Have The Upper Hand On Dates

6 Reasons Why The iPhone is Definitely Better than Android »
The 9 Nintendo Characters You'll Meet At Every Bar »

Control CollegeHumor and the rest of your favorite streaming sites with your phone.

Apptui turns your phone or tablet into the best remote you’ve ever seen. Download it for free at https://apptui.com

Guaranteed to keep your significant other happy.

Finish —> 9 Magnificent Photos Taken from Extremely Nerdy Bachelor Parties 

QUIZ: Real or Fake Dating Site?
Can you tell which of these will get you a date?

QUIZ: Real or Fake Dating Site?

Can you tell which of these will get you a date?

Anaconda (The Educational Version)

1. Eating a banana

2. Typing

3. Washing your hands

4. Putting on chapstick

5. Unzipping your hoodie

6. Kissing

7. Reading

8. Sleeping

(Source: youtube.com)

Thanks to all the CollegeHumor fans and subscribers. We couldn’t have done this without you because that would be physically impossible. 
CollegeHumor’s YouTube Channel 

- 8,003,342 subscribers
- 2,940,700,059 views

Thanks to all the CollegeHumor fans and subscribers. We couldn’t have done this without you because that would be physically impossible. 

CollegeHumor’s YouTube Channel 

- 8,003,342 subscribers

- 2,940,700,059 views

The Unbreakable Coffee Cycle
Addtional Reading: What the World Looks Like Before and After Coffee

The Unbreakable Coffee Cycle

Addtional Reading: What the World Looks Like Before and After Coffee

It’s National Coffee Day, but don’t talk to me until you’ve read this article.

Additional reading: The Unbreakable Coffee Cycle

(Source: College Humor)

Because you shouldn’t always follow your fart.
Now read:

Flowchart: Should You Get That Tattoo?
Flowchart: Are You Over Your Breakup?
Flowchart: Do You Have Time To Masturbate?

Because you shouldn’t always follow your fart.

Now read:

Flowchart: Should You Get That Tattoo?

Flowchart: Are You Over Your Breakup?

Flowchart: Do You Have Time To Masturbate?

The Adventures of God

I

God: Noah, all the people of earth are sinners. You alone are righteous.

Noah: Thanks God. Long time fan, first time prophet.

God: So, I have decided to smite the entire world with a flood.

(pause)

Noah: Couldn’t you just teach man goodness?

God: No. I’m thinking “flood.”

Noah: So you’d rather just kill every-

God: What part of “flood” do you not understand?

II

God: Moses…I have seen the plight of the Jews in Egypt.

Moses: Wow. Only after, uh, 400 years there, right?

God: Yes.

Moses: Awesome.

God: I will take you out of Egypt after ten terrible, terrible plagues.

Moses: …ten?

God: Is there a problem?

Moses: It’s just…ten is a lot. For, you know, God. Couldn’t you get this done in like, two plagues max?

God: No. For you see, Moses, I will harden Pharaoh’s heart against me.

Moses: So…you are going to stop him from letting us free from slavery.

God: Yes.

Moses: So you can bring more terrible, terrible plagues upon the people.

God: Yes.

Moses: And you see nothing wrong with this picture?

God: … 

Moses: Are there any other Gods up there I can talk to?



III

Mary: Did you send the child support?

God: Frankincense and myrrh. Yeah.

Mary  Annnnnd?

God: (sighs). And gold. And the gold.

Mary: That’s better.



IV

Job: …

God: Well, this is awkward.



V

God: Abraham, you must circumcise yourself.

Abraham: As you wish, my lord.

God: Oh my Me. He’s totally going to do it.

Watch —> The Tetris God

(Source: College Humor)

Eyes are the window to the soul. The terrifying soul.

Finish watching —> 8 Normal Activities Made Creepy With Eye Contact