Follow Us

CollegeHumor Staff Blog

1. Ariel Goes On A Bunch Of Failed Dates With ‘Finance’ Mermen

At the start of The Little Mermaid, 16-year-old Ariel (!!) is already jaded by her underwater surroundings and is desperate to roam the earth with the humans, and instantly falls in love with a Handsome Prince after seeing that he has a dog, a statue of himself, and isn’t a direct asshole in the 4 seconds she’s around him. But why is Ariel so immediately-infatuated with Eric and completely uninterested in her own species?

There’s an answer: The original cut of the film actually included a 15-minute “dating montage” where Ariel reluctantly goes on dates with a series of lame sea dudes, including a ‘Finance Merman’ who spends a the whole dinner explaining shell-trading, a seahorse from Flounder’s intramural softball team (who’s not bad just kinda non-talkative and boring), and a recently-divorced marlin who doesn’t get any of Ariel’s early-80s cultural references.

Next up: 101 Dalmatians - Cruella de Vil Hires Two Goons Who Are Totally Cool With Slaughtering Puppies

5 Incredible Disney Deleted Scenes That Explain Everything »

Vote for the Best Disney Villain

Vote for the best of the worst from the world of Disney. (Though we all know who the real villain was, Walt! Ya damn antisemite you.)

What Disney Villains Would Look Like if They Were Hot
Rated NC-17

What Disney Villains Would Look Like if They Were Hot

Rated NC-17