My long distance boyfriend of 7 years decided this past June that as a birthday present to me, he would come to the US and meet me for the first time and we would spend a week together. I decided I wanted us to meet at a lake in town that I always thought was a nice spot to walk and relax after work a few years ago. I arrived and discovered that during the afternoon in the summer months is apparently when all the irresponsible dog owners and hobos hang out there now, too. We met and instead of the romantic, quiet setting I was hoping for spent our short time there dodging dog excrement every 30ft or so and bunches of half-naked homeless men baking in the Florida sun. The week went well but he discovered when I drove him to the airport that it’s situated next to a sewage treatment plant since the wind was blowing in the wrong direction. Our ‘romantic’ week together ended as it began, smelling like shit. Tallahassee, you are so fucking embarrassing it isn’t even funny.
- T.S.