My Apologies to the Girl I Tried to Smell, and Others [click for others]
To the Worker at Home Depot:
I’m sorry that when I asked if you had fishing line, you asked me what I needed it for, and I admitted in a disappointed-in-myself voice, “It’s for a craft project.” First of all, can’t a girl buy a little fishing line in New York City without the third degree? Maybe I’m one of those guys fishing in the Hudson. You don’t know. You don’t know my life. Maybe I like Hudson fish? Fine. I don’t eat Hudson fish and maybe all signs DID point to craft project. Maybe it was my lost-child stare that said, “I don’t come here a lot.” Perhaps the contents of my cart (one cardboard box, two wooden dowels and a can of spray paint) didn’t add up to “home improvement project.” So what. I resent being pigeonholed. I resent being “read” mister, okay? And alsothankyousomuch you pointed me in exactly the right direction and my craft project came out so perfect, the girls at the coffee klatch just DIED! Continue
 

My Apologies to the Girl I Tried to Smell, and Others [click for others]

To the Worker at Home Depot:

I’m sorry that when I asked if you had fishing line, you asked me what I needed it for, and I admitted in a disappointed-in-myself voice, “It’s for a craft project.” First of all, can’t a girl buy a little fishing line in New York City without the third degree? Maybe I’m one of those guys fishing in the Hudson. You don’t know. You don’t know my life. Maybe I like Hudson fish? Fine. I don’t eat Hudson fish and maybe all signs DID point to craft project. Maybe it was my lost-child stare that said, “I don’t come here a lot.” Perhaps the contents of my cart (one cardboard box, two wooden dowels and a can of spray paint) didn’t add up to “home improvement project.” So what. I resent being pigeonholed. I resent being “read” mister, okay? And alsothankyousomuch you pointed me in exactly the right direction and my craft project came out so perfect, the girls at the coffee klatch just DIED! Continue