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At the Pearly GatesAngel at Podium: Next!The line moves up. A man steps forward.John: Hi there.Angel * referring to a large book *: Jonathon Robert Curtis, born May 1st, 1982 in Dallas, Texas. Is all of that correct?John: Sounds right to me.Angel: It says here that you died while saving both orphans and puppies from a burning building. How noble.John * shrugs *: The fire department was taking too long to get there.Angel: You pray regularly for others, you attend church most Sundays, and your infringements on the Ten Commandments only amount to occasionally swearing, ‘God dammit.’ Overall, you’ve lived a very good, albeit too short life. Everything appears to be in order…John: Great! I can’t wait to get in there! I mean, you always wonder who you would want to meet in Heaven and…Angel: Woah woah woah. Slow it down there, cowboy. We haven’t even checked your Facebook yet. [Keep Reading]

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At the Pearly Gates

Angel at Podium: Next!

The line moves up. A man steps forward.

John: Hi there.

Angel * referring to a large book *: Jonathon Robert Curtis, born May 1st, 1982 in Dallas, Texas. Is all of that correct?

John: Sounds right to me.

Angel: It says here that you died while saving both orphans and puppies from a burning building. How noble.

John * shrugs *: The fire department was taking too long to get there.

Angel: You pray regularly for others, you attend church most Sundays, and your infringements on the Ten Commandments only amount to occasionally swearing, ‘God dammit.’ Overall, you’ve lived a very good, albeit too short life. Everything appears to be in order…

John: Great! I can’t wait to get in there! I mean, you always wonder who you would want to meet in Heaven and…

Angel: Woah woah woah. Slow it down there, cowboy. We haven’t even checked your Facebook yet. [Keep Reading]