Awkward Romance Novel Excerpts [Click for full article]
There was a knock at the door. As I fumbled with the handle, turning it the wrong way gently, then hard, then gently again, then the right way, I took a look through the peephole. Outside stood a lady with the most heaving breasts I had ever laid eye on.
“Hi, I just wanted to come by and introduce myself,” she proclaimed as I began to fiddle with the lock on the storm door.
“Oh, you must be Juanita, my new maid,” I said.
“New neighbor Juanita,” she replied, kicking a giant hole through the metal screen and my heart.
“I came over to tell you to close your damn blinds.”
We bid each other adieu—nay, adios—and I did just that. [Keep Reading]