REPLY ALL: Careers, Roommates, Monty Python, Remembering Names

Resident chill-Internet-girl Marina will answer your questions about life, love, college, sex or anything else you’ve got on your mind. There will be GIFS[Full Post]

What do you do if you like a girl, but can’t remember her name? It’s been a few days now and I think she’s starting to get suspicious. – John G

I don’t think I’ve ever met someone and remembered their name on the first try. In the course of writing this sentence, I’ve already forgotten yours. Justin? Maybe Jimmy? Yeah, we’re going to call you Jimmy. Listen Jimmy, you came to the right broad with a shitty memory. Assuming you’ve already tried all the basic tactics, here are a few tricks that usually work for me.

  1. Find a mutual friend who’s name you DO know and try to connect the Facebook stalking dots until you can put a name with a face.
  2. Get a buddy and pull a tag-team name extraction. You introduce the girl to your friend Kevin (this also works with friends not named Kevin). Kevin shakes her hand and says “Hey, I’m Kevin.” There’s a 90% chance that she’ll respond by saying “Hey, I’m so-and-so” and then you’ll have her name.
  3. Have a baby with her and then sue for custody. Her name should be on a lot of the legal docs.
  4. Call her Caitlin. There are a lot of Caitlins. She’s probably one.

Hope that helps, Jimmy.

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